


Ramyeon, Soju, Saving a Guy, and Other Rash Decisions

by nununips



Series: X007 [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Blood and Injury, Developing Relationship, EMT Wonho, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Gun Violence, Not Beta Read, Shownu's job is a secret, but i love it okay let me have this, catching feelings for someone oops, gun is tired of hoseok's antics, it's a bit cliche, showho, wonho takes care of shownu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27606181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nununips/pseuds/nununips
Summary: Hoseok's having the shittiest day ever.  He's on the verge of losing his job when he finds...someone.  Behind a dumpster and bleeding.  The shitty day just got turned on its head.  Hoseok wonders if he's capable of making anything but rash decisions- which is exactly what started his day off so badly anyway.So Hoseok took the guy home and decided on trying to save his life.  It just gets stranger from there.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Series: X007 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018324
Comments: 42
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nips is here again with something completely different. I wrote this a while back, well before I even started the vampire story and before deciding to share my fics here hahaaaa. This is part of a greater series that I think I'll work on once my main one is finished. I have it started as well, so be on the look out for that eventually! If the series name didn't give it away already, 007 secret agent style AU thing. This is the backstory of how Shownu and Wonho met- he goes by Hoseok at first because he's given the name Wonho later on. This particular part should only be one or two chapters more, it's nearly finished. Basically, I just really wanted to post something else and this was read to go. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy! It's style is a little different (I was trying new things to get back into writing) so let me know if anything doesn't make sense or there's a problem! Thanks so much for reading!

There is rarely a night that goes by where Wonho does not end up in Shownu’s bed, or vice versa. Tonight is no different as he slowly slips through the door of Shownu’s room, practically tiptoeing his way towards the sleeping figure he sees. Only the tops of Shownu’s shoulders are uncovered, moving evenly with each breath. Wonho has to stop himself from cooing at the scene despite having seen it so many times before. Taking care not to stir the other, Wonho climbs into bed behind Shownu, lifts the blanket to better slide in close. 

Wonho curls around Shownu, chest to back, legs fitting behind Shownu’s thighs, one arm coming to wrap around his narrow waist. They’re both shirtless, which Wonho is thankful for, if only because he loves skin to skin contact whenever he can get it. Just as he’s thinking he didn’t wake the love of his life, he feels a shift. Shownu sniffles some, alerting Wonho to the change. But all that comes is Shownu’s bigger hand finding his own, lacing their fingers together. His breathing evens out once again, hand warm against Wonho’s, and he could never ask for anything more than this moment right now. 

He presses his nose to the nape of Shownu’s neck, kisses the first knob of his spine right below that and closes his eyes. To think they end up like this most nights is strange but perfect. Just like their entire relationship. 

\--6 Years Ago--

His day is absolute  _ shit _ . Hoseok’s hands would still be shaking if not for the death grip on his box of things from his locker. He stomps his way to his car in the parking lot outside of the ambulance station. They’re a stand alone one, compared to others attached to fire and police stations. Perhaps that’s why they were putting Hoseok on administrative leave. A bad call, a bad reaction, Hoseok’s empathy getting the better of him when they failed to save a family in a car accident. As much as he tries not to dwell on it, he feels completely wrung out and stretched thinner than his already shot nerves. 

When he first joined the crew, he was just done getting his EMT certification. Hoseok wanted to help people, wanted to be a first responder because he didn’t think he had the guts to be a doctor. For a while, it had been a learning curve. But Hoseok kept pressing on, learning and picking up more skills. Each loss, though, hit that much harder, no matter how many of his co-workers told him to stop taking it all so personally. That’s something he has yet to really figure out, which leaves him essentially fired at twenty-three years old, and a box of his things in the back of his car. 

There may have also been a few supplies he snagged from surplus storage, just because. Later he knows he’ll regret taking them at all, but for now he’s spiteful and angry at the world and just wants to feel something other than like shit. The car door slams and Hoseok takes a few deep breaths before he starts it and drives away. It’s late, the sun already set, his twelve hour shift cut short by about eight. Hoseok glances at his car radio to see the numbers glaring bright red in the darkness. It’s only then that he remembers he never reset his clock, and that’s just one more shitty thing on this shit day. Just for that, he thinks, he’s going to get as much ramyeon as he can on his way home and perhaps a bottle or two of soju. Just because. 

Hoseok stops at the convenience store close to his apartment and goes inside, glad that it’s a twenty-four hour location. The clerk knows him well at this point, if only because he stops in at odd hours due to his shifts all the time. He only spends a few minutes gathering what he wants, a few extras to make his instant meal a little fancier. Normally, he’s a health nut that tries to eat well. But right now he’s too upset to think of anything other than comfort food. Satisfied with his choices, Hoseok pays and goes back out to his car, tosses his bag in the passenger seat. 

A sound to the left of him startles him before he gets into the car. There’s a dumpster behind the store and absolutely no one else is around right now. Given the hour, whatever it was, Hoseok isn’t too surprised to see the lot empty. He swallows down the inkling of fear and peers over as far as he can. Another beat passes before a sound comes from around the dumpster again, with the distinct thud of a body hitting the ground. 

Hoseok winces when he hears it, thinks that it’s not normal to know what that sounds like, before he darts towards the dumpster. Despite having an idea of what he’ll find, Hoseok is still shocked to see another person prone on the ground, crumpled and clearly clinging to consciousness. His mind kicks into gear as he rushes to the person’s side, checks for a pulse and finds one. It’s weak but fast. Not a good sign. A groan pulls from the prone body. 

“Hey, can you hear me?” Hoseok asks, already digging into his pocket to find his phone. “If you can hear me, squeeze my hand,” He says as he takes the other’s hand and feels a squeeze. “Good, good, stay awake for me okay?” He tries his best to use a calm, even tone as he releases the hand he was holding. 

The other, a man Hoseok guesses, doesn’t appear to be much older than him. Dark hair is plastered to his face with blood, though given his current position, Hoseok can’t see what else could be wrong. He’s afraid to move him and worsen the situation, even as something tells him that there’s definitely more wounds he can’t see. Finally, he digs his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, ready to dial for help. He can’t do this on his own. 

“Don’t worry, help will be here soon, you just have to stay awake, okay?” He reassures the man. Before he can finish making the call, a hand shoots out with startling speed to grab Hoseok’s wrist, gripping hard. Hoseok isn’t a small guy by any means, but it’s still scary to have someone grab you with no warning at all and with a grip that’s going to leave bruises. 

“No hospital,” the words are garbled but Hoseok makes them out. 

“Wha- you need serious medical attention, sir,” Hoseok starts to pull back but the grip stays strong, somehow. “Let go of me please. I’m trying to save you.” 

“No hospitals,” This time it’s a growl. The man lifts his head enough to stare up at Hoseok. Black eyes focus on Hoseok’s face after a moment, clearly struggling to keep them there. “Can’t-” he breaks off into a groan, long legs curling up as he squeezes himself into a ball. Hoseok can’t think for a moment. 

The grip falls away from his wrist, the man’s hand dropping to the damp ground. It’s now that Hoseok takes in the black suit, the dark splotches of what appears to be blood spreading on the white shirt underneath, scuffed knuckles, and a gash along his temple. He sucks his lower lip in and gnaws on it, heart pounding in his chest. Who the hell did he find? The guy is going to die if Hoseok doesn’t do something. 

He should call for an ambulance. Or take him to a hospital. He should do that, because that’s always been his job. Because it’s the right thing to do. So why is he hesitating? It’s not like he owes the guy anything, doesn’t even know who he is. As much as he tells himself that, a tiny voice nags at the back of Hoseok’s mind to do something very stupid and very reckless. Before he can give himself more time to think, more time to waste on saving this person on the ground, Hoseok just goes for it. 

“Hey,” he taps the man’s face, gets his attention again. “I can help you, okay? No hospitals. But you have to come with me.” No more time is wasted. Hoseok gets the man to his feet again after a struggle and shouldering most of his weight. He’s heavier than he looks, solid and just a bit taller than Hoseok. Together they make it to his car, Hoseok talking the man through it and reassuring him they’re almost there. Getting him in the car is a whole new obstacle but he manages, hands shaking once again, stumbling to get back in the driver’s seat and get to his apartment. 

“You better stay awake and live through this,” Hoseok mutters more to himself than the bleeding guy in his car. “Or I will absolutely go apeshit.” 

With that, Hoseok dares to speed the rest of the way home. 

  
  


For once, Hoseok is thankful that he lives in a mediocre apartment with no doorman or anyone to question what’s going on. The clock in the lobby says it’s past midnight now. He’s not sure how he’s juggling the box of shit from work and a barely conscious injured man, but he manages to get into the elevator without major incident. 

Hoseok grunts as he hauls the man out of the elevator and towards his apartment door. The box ends up being scooted along by his feet while desperately trying not to trip. Outside of his door, Hoseok grits his teeth as the man slumps more into him. “Please try to hold on just a second longer,” he hisses through clenched teeth, digging out his key and opening the door. He kicks the box through the door and drags the man through it before slamming it shut again. At that moment, it’s pretty clear the guy in his arms can’t move another step forward. Hoseok is lucky in managing him to the floor without hitting the coffee table in his living room. 

He takes a second to lock the door and start digging through the box, suddenly thankful he had technically stolen things from work. Scrambling back to the body on his floor, Hoseok peels the black suit jacket away. Now that lights are on and they’re not in a dark back alley dumpster, he can see how much blood there is. 

Well, shit. 

“Are you still with me?” he asks, hoping for an answer. The man on the floor only shudders out a breath and lays still, even when a hand taps at his pale cheek. Hoseok swears and goes back to work, gets gloves and a mask on, all while part of him is still wondering what in the actual fuck he was thinking. He grabs scissors and starts to cut away the bloodied material, notices an empty gun holster on the man’s hip and decidedly ignores it. 

“Please don’t die,” Hoseok whispers more than once. “Fuck, okay, stop thinking Hoseok, work, you know this,” he talks to himself and takes a cursory check of the injuries he can see. Gash on the right temple, not deep, but head wounds bleed like hell. Likely from falling, he thinks. Hoseok uses his phone flashlight and checks the man’s pupils. One is dilated while the other is practically a pin point. Concussion for sure. He marks it and moves on. 

Stab wound to the left hip. Several cuts that require stitches. Multiple contusions and abrasions that go with the falling theory. From a height, or down a flight of stairs. Hoseok grimaces and feels for any broken bones. Given the bruising on his right side and the way the nameless man groans at the touch, Hoseok guesses there’s at least one broken rib. Busted knuckles, a split lip, and bruising on his cheek and eye say he was in some kind of fight. 

“Of course he was in a fight, he has a fucking knife wound, don’t be a dumbass,” he grumbles to himself and works on cleaning the wounds as he goes. Work is tedious but he tries to do it as fast as he can without slipping up. It’s hard, given that he knows field dressing and some basic care, but he’s not a doctor. He’s not a professional. 

Hoseok realizes his own breathing is quickening. This is all probably highly illegal in some way, will likely get the guy killed, and that will be the end of it all. There’s no time to waste on panicking like this, Hoseok tells himself. A man is bleeding out on his floor and he has to do something. The growling words about no hospitals repeat in his mind. Hoseok closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and counts to ten. Lets it out slowly. Hands steady once again, he focuses only on saving the man in front of him. 

\--

Somehow, despite all the odds against him, the man lives. For now, at least. Hoseok has no way of knowing for sure if there’s internal bleeding or damage beyond what his eyes can see. So much can still go wrong and the longer Hoseok thinks about it, the longer he chews at his lower lip until it’s bleeding between his teeth. 

Hoseok gets the unconscious man into his bed, giving it up for his “patient”. He gets the bloodied, ruined clothes off and tossed into a bag. Changes out of his own work uniform and into basketball shorts and an old tee-shirt. Cleans up the floor and tools, tosses the used suture kits and gauze packets. He went through all the alcohol and anti-bacterial cream he owned in an effort to clean the wounds. There’s a smell of blood and disinfectant left lingering in his apartment that Hoseok isn’t sure will ever go away. His brain is fried, shot from everything that had happened in a very short amount of time. 

And there’s an unconscious, half-dead man in his bed. 

Collapsing onto the couch, Hoseok forgets about any instant meal he was going to have. Forgets that anything else had happened in the day at all, far too distracted. His phone says it’s nearly six in the morning now. Hours of stitching, cleaning, bandaging, mopping, and anything else he could think of. Exhaustion eats away at his bones, his muscles burn from exertion and his eyes are watery and itching. From where he sits, he has a clear view of the man in his bed. As much as Hoseok told himself he wasn’t going to fall asleep for fear of what could happen, his body decides it had had enough. Hoseok passes out on the couch in a dreamless sleep. 

\--

A car blaring its horn outside wakes Hoseok from his slumber. He jolts and tumbles off of the couch, whining when he hits the floor. For a few moments, his sleep addled mind thinks the night before must have been a bad dream. Maybe too much soju. But the more he comes around, the more he remembers. The apartment is a mess, boxes of medical supplies spilling from the trash, no instant food or empty bottles out, which leaves him with little else than the truth. He lifts himself off the floor and panics as he looks towards his bedroom. 

The man is still in bed. Last night was real. He had really found a man by a dumpster, brought him home to his apartment, and treated his wounds to the best of his ability. Oh, this is not good. Heart slamming against his ribs, Hoseok darts towards the bedroom. He has to make sure the other is even still alive. 

Surprisingly, he is. Hoseok finds a pulse on his wrist rather quickly this time and it’s stronger than he remembers it being a few hours ago. He glances at the bedside clock and sees it’s already early afternoon. Pushing his panic aside for the time being, Hoseok does another check of vitals. Pulse is a bit fast still, but his blood pressure is better. No fever. Still breathing. Hoseok rubs the back of his neck as he stares down at the body in his bed, covered in bandages and thick swathes of gauze. The guy is still pale, but that isn’t too surprising. He has to admit to himself that he’s a bit shocked. All of his decisions he made before had been in the heat of the moment, rushed and adrenaline fueled. He hadn’t considered what he was supposed to do after that was done and the man lived. 

Now he has a stranger, who very likely could be dangerous, in his apartment. Not in his current state, but Hoseok hadn’t forgotten about the gun holster. Whoever he was, Hoseok is pretty sure he isn’t just some average citizen. It doesn’t make any sense. Nothing could be done about that until the guy woke up, so he was left with his thoughts and someone to watch over. 

  
  


The day passed quietly, all things considered. Hoseok made it a point to clean up more, check on the “patient” every few minutes, and remember to eat when he could. It’s hard to focus on much else as the hours tick by, the sun sinking low in the sky and casting an orange haze through the windows. Hoseok stands in the doorway of his room and stares at the still unconscious man in his bed. He’s pondering what his next step will be, how long he can let this go on. What to do if the guy still ends up dying because that’s a very real possibility. If he thinks any harder on it, a headache is going to crop up. 

His thoughts are completely derailed when the man starts to stir. A sharp breath is drawn in, followed with a shuddering groan of pain. Hoseok is at the bedside in an instant, trying to judge what he needs to do next. 

“Easy, don’t try to move,” Hoseok keeps his voice soft, hands hovering to prevent the guy from going anywhere should he try it. He presses one hand gently into the man’s shoulder, leaning in to check his eyes. “If you’re able to, can you tell me your name?” 

There’s a moment where the man recognizes someone is talking to him, which Hoseok is happy to see. It takes several moments before dark eyes settle over Hoseok’s face and blink a few times. 

“Shownu,” comes the rattled and hoarse response. His voice is weak but loud enough for Hoseok to understand. 

And with that, he has a name. He smiles brightly despite the situation. “Hello, Shownu. My name is Hoseok,” he speaks slow and soft. Doesn’t try to overcomplicate anything or spout off everything. Shownu is still waking up and has a concussion, so he isn’t exactly in the best position to receive or give information. “You’re safe here,”  _ technically true,  _ “And I’m going to take care of you as best as I can, okay? You’re not in a hospital, just my apartment.”  _ Very true. _

Shownu hums in response, eyes slipping shut again. Hoseok can’t blame him, considering his current state. It dawns on him a moment later that Shownu lost a lot of blood. Like, a ridiculous amount. But he doesn’t have the materials or supplies to do a transfusion. Hell, he doesn’t even have anything to give Shownu fluids. Or anything to help with the pain. There’s a sinking pit in his stomach, wondering if he was really just fucking this poor guy over. He should be in a hospital. One hand shoves his hair back from his face before he paces the room. 

“Too loud,” Shownu mutters, eyes still closed. Hoseok stops in his tracks and looks to the other. 

“What?” 

“Too loud,” Shownu manages to lift a hand a few inches off the bed and wave it at Hoseok. “Quiet.” Apparently, he’s too tired to say anything more than a few words. Shownu is out again in a matter of seconds. Hoseok can already feel himself spiraling into all the things that can go wrong. Somehow, he still doesn’t want to budge on the hospital thing. Shownu had sounded so adamant about it last night. Hoseok chews at his lip before an idea comes to him. It’s a long shot, but hell, isn’t all of this? 

Hoseok takes a breath and runs for his phone. 

\--

An hour after he sent a vague, somewhat desperate, and likely very confusing text, Hoseok gets an answer. He nearly drops his phone when he fumbles to read it, heart pounding again. It’s the answer he was hoping for lighting up his screen, a wave of relief washing over him in an instant. He texts back a quick thank you and waits some more. 

It’s another hour before there’s a knock at his door. Hoseok has been sitting with Shownu for most of the day, checking him to make sure he’s still breathing. The sound has him up and moving, rushing to the door and practically throwing his friend inside. Had he really checked to make sure it was who he thought? No, but he went with it anyway. 

“Gunhee, thank you so much, oh my god,” Hoseok is saying as he practically trips over himself. He probably looks half crazed at this point. 

Gunhee, one of his lifelong friends, stands there with a heavy frown on his face. He always looks a bit grumpy, but Hoseok is used to that. They met when they were children, both training in the same Tae Kwon Do class. Hoseok had been studying martial arts for years and while Gunhee hadn’t stayed beyond a few years, Hoseok had run with it. Even now, he trained when he could, went to the gym regularly, all of it. Gunhee had decided to go into the medical field as well, opting to be a nurse while Hoseok was an EMT. 

“You better have a fucking  _ brilliant _ reason for asking this,” Gunhee warns as he eyes his friend. Over his shoulder is a duffel bag, a cooler in his hand, and a few various things stuffed into a backpack. He looks ridiculous carrying so many things at once, but not suspicious. Being dressed in street clothes- an old hoodie, ball cap and torn jeans, Gunhee looks like a street urchin at worst. 

“I do, I swear I do, it’s just- um, it’s a lot,” he explains, nervous as ever. “Did you get everything?” 

“Not everything, no,” Gunhee shakes his head. “I can’t just take blood bags, Hoseok. But I did get everything else you asked for,” he sighs. “Now show me what’s going on. Please?”

“Right, this way,” Hoseok waves his hand for Gunhee to follow. He does. They walk to his room and Hoseok can sense the exact second Gunhee lays eyes on Shownu. 

“Hoseok what in the actual fuck-” 

“I found him, I told you that.” 

“You said you needed help for a friend you ran into. Do you even know this guy?” Gunhee, despite his shock and clear frustration at the situation, is already starting to unpack everything he brought. A stand for an IV drip. A bag of saline and fluids, the needles and tubing needed, some iron supplements (no blood, after all) and a plethora of new bandages and sterilizing agents. 

“No. What was I supposed to say? Just found a dude bleeding out by a dumpster, think you could help out?” Hoseok mocks his own voice. 

“Yes, actually. That’s exactly what you should have said.” 

“Well, too bad,” Hoseok doesn’t have the mental energy to think of a better response. He’s exhausted in more ways than one and he just wants to make sure Shownu doesn’t die. “And before you ask, he refused to go to the hospital before this.” 

“And you listened to him,” it isn’t a question. 

“I listened to him,” Hoseok nods. 

“You’re an idiot,” Gunhee snorts. He ignores Hoseok’s squawk of indignation as he pulls on gloves and starts to massage around Shownu’s arm for a vein. “And you’re damn lucky I’m in good with the techs that can cover for me,” he glares at Hoseok for a moment. It isn’t the first time Gunhee has taken supplies, which is why Hoseok had gone to him in the first place. 

Given all his gruff demeanor, Gunhee is a bleeding heart. He cares about people, helps them how he can, sometimes even works his way around a clinic that he and a few doctors run. It’s a private affair, to help those who can’t go to the hospital for whatever their reasoning is. Hoseok had been willing to bet that Gunhee would come through for him now, and he was right. Thanks to whatever being above, he was right. Hoseok watches as Gunhee gets the I.V. set up in Shownu’s arm. He doesn’t wince at the site of a few more drops of blood, but he does when Shownu grumbles in his sleep. 

When Hoseok is feeling a little more certain that Shownu will be okay, he sits with Gunhee in the living room with coffee. It’s only now he’s really realizing he hasn’t eaten much in the day. How could he? He’s more than a little preoccupied with the current events. But Gunhee makes him sit, makes him drink some coffee, and give him the full story. 

So, Hoseok does. He tells it all as he remembers it- parts of it are cloudy now but he blames his lack of proper sleep. Learned the guy’s name is Shownu, he was in a suit when Hoseok found him and demanded no hospitals. Gunhee calls him stupid a few times, but he doesn’t sound angry. He sounds...worried? Scared, maybe? Hoseok chews the inside of his cheek and tries not to dwell on it. 

“I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into here, but you have to be careful,” Gunhee says, voice softer than before. “I know how you get when you make up your mind. I won’t force you to take him in but just-...Call me if anything changes? I’ve got enough supplies for you to keep him mostly alive.” 

“Only mostly?” Hoseok laughs and hates how weak it sounds in his own ears. 

“He’s made it this far. Maybe he’ll be fine,” Gunhee flippantly waves a hand as if to brush the topic away. “Now make sure you eat, dumbass, I can’t keep both of you alive.” 

Gunhee leaves soon after that. Hoseok makes the instant ramyun he neglected the night before and downs in a matter of minutes. He realizes that he and Gunhee talked for a while, given the time now. Hoseok decides he’s still hungry enough and downs a granola bar before going to check on Shownu again. 

He changes out the bags and bandages as necessary, checks the vitals he can once again. Shownu is still out, but still alive. Small blessings, Hoseok thinks. He wastes a few more hours trying to think of things to do while fussing over the man in his bed. 

Eventually, Hoseok crashes on the couch again and sleeps the night away, better than before. 

\--

This time he wakes up while it’s still morning. Scrubs at his eyes, lets out a yawn that turns into a groan when his back cracks. Sleeping on the couch is not a wise idea for multiple nights, but he’ll deal with it. He shuffles towards his room with the full intent of getting clean clothes and taking a shower because he really, really needs one. He’s neglected himself completely. 

Only instead of getting clothes, he sees Shownu sitting up in bed and staring right at him. Hoseok jolts, nearly lets out a shriek and flings himself back out the door. It’s startling to see someone so near potential death suddenly be very much alive, that he’s not sure what to do. It wasn’t like he forgot Shownu was there, but he didn’t expect  _ that.  _

“Fucking,  _ shit _ ,” Hoseok breathes out as one hand clutches to his chest. “You scared me. Like a lot,” Hoseok says when he finally has the nerve to look at Shownu again. The man’s face is still bruised and a bit swollen in places. Bandages all over, the IV in his arm, he doesn’t exactly look like a beacon of health or someone that should be sitting up. “I’m, uh, I’m Hoseok if you don’t remember that-” 

“I remember,” Shownu cuts him off. Hoseok snaps his mouth shut and stares at the guy for a while. Well. This is way more awkward than he thought possible. 

“Oh, yeah, good. That’s good. Means your brain isn’t totally fried, I’m pretty sure. Not a doctor though, so,” he shrugs and forces out a laugh. He defaults to nervous chatter and the fact that Shownu is just staring does nothing to help him. Eventually, he has to look somewhere other than Shownu’s face because it’s too much to handle. 

Shownu is taking short, measured breaths. There’s sweat beading around his temples, likely from the effort of sitting up. Shownu’s face is almost unreadable despite the amount of pain he has to be in. Were this any other situation, Hoseok might have been impressed. He feels scared, though, nervous now that Shownu is awake. 

“You said your name was Shownu. Is that right?” He asks for confirmation, but it sounds like he’s questioning the man’s identity. He’s had to deal with flighty and scared patients in the back of an ambulance and on scenes before. There’s just a strange intimacy in having said patient in his home that he’s not sure he’ll ever be used to. Hoseok draws in a deep breath and slowly lets it out before he clicks back into work mode. 

“Yes,” Shownu finally answers. He looks apprehensive about saying anything. Hoseok notes it and holds his hands up in a form of surrender, moving slowly to the bed. 

“I just need to check a few things to make sure you’re okay. May I touch you?” He asks softly. Shownu’s dark eyes follow him the entire time. “I promise it’s just to check your injuries. I didn’t expect you to be moving around any time soon, most people would be laid out for a while.” 

“That’s fine,” Shownu answers again. His eyes seem hazy for a moment as he blinks rapidly. Hoseok imagines he’s having a hard time focusing on anything. Concussions are nasty business to deal with. Deciding it’s better to get things over with as quickly and painlessly as possible, Hoseok does another check over Shownu. 

“I know it doesn’t feel good,” Hoseok starts. “But I need you to take deep breaths instead of shallow ones,” he instructs like he would with anyone in the back of the ambulance. “It’s important to make sure your lungs are still expanding, or it could cause a lot of complications later.” 

Shownu grits his teeth when Hoseok checks the bandages over his ribs and side, but holds still otherwise. No signs of bleeding despite Shownu moving. Nothing messed up or out of place so far. As much as Hoseok is starting to think Shownu isn’t listening to him at all, the man starts to take deeper breaths. They’re slow and pained, a grimace passing over Shownu’s face, but he’s trying. 

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling right now? I mean, obviously not great, but you know,” Hoseok gives one of his signature sweet smiles. 

“Fine,” Shownu answers. Not one for words, apparently. 

“Just fine?” Hoseok asks. “I need you to tell me a little more than that. It’s all just for your safety, I swear,” he presses and hopes it helps. It doesn’t. Eventually, Hoseok gets that he needs to ask something else. “Okay, next thing then,” Hoseok sighs, leaning back and away from Shownu. Maybe some distance will help. “Can you tell me anything? Like why I found you by a dumpster?” 

“Why’d you bring me here?” Shownu counters with his own question rather than answering. Hoseok is caught off guard. 

“Uh, well,” Hoseok rubs the back of his neck. “I found you and you were, y’know, bleeding all over the place and I couldn’t just leave you there. And you said no hospitals.” 

“And you listened to me?” Shownu sounds baffled. It’s the first time he’s sounded anything other than vaguely threatening. 

“Why is everyone so caught up on that!” Hoseok groans, tips his head back in annoyance. “Yes, I listened to you! You were some dude in a suit and bleeding out, I didn’t want you to die. You’re heavy by the way, I had to drag you back here,” he complains but there’s no bite to his words. When he doesn’t hear anything from Shownu, he tips his head back down. The sight makes his stomach lurch and he’s quickly up to check the other again.    
  
Shownu has his head in his hands and looks green around the gills. Hoseok swears at himself for not making him lay back down and keep from turning his head too much. With gentle words he urges Shownu to lay down again, supporting him until he’s back against the pillows. Worry is written all over his face, he can feel it burning in his eyes and cheeks. “I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention,” Hoseok starts, fussing more to get Shownu comfortable. 

He darts out of the room and comes back with a glass of water, straw and all. Hoseok moves with the utmost care and tenderness he can manage to help Shownu drink. One hand cradles Shownu’s head up just enough so he doesn’t choke when he drinks, while the other stabilizes the straw against Shownu’s dried and cracked lips. 

“Drink just a little, okay? Good,” Hoseok encourages him in a soft whisper, smiling when Shownu seems to relax more. “Try to rest some more. We can try talking later, and you can join the club of judging me for my decisions,” He’s poking fun at himself, but Shownu misses it completely, already on the verge of passing out again. But he does manage to mumble something out that makes Hoseok’s heart skip a beat in a very strange fashion. 

“Thank you.” 

\--

  
  


Hoseok, Shownu decides, is an odd sort of fellow. It’s not something he decides quickly or settles on without really thinking about it. But now that he’s been in this man’s apartment for three days, it feels like a good decision. Hoseok is odd, yes, but exceedingly kind. Shownu can’t blame him for the nervousness he senses, if only because they are strangers to each other. And Hoseok has been keeping him in his apartment and tending to his injuries. It’s a lot to ask of anyone that doesn’t know you. Shownu is well aware of his own awkward tendencies even when he’s laid up in bed, because he has always been that way. 

Time passes slowly for the most part. A lot of it Shownu has slept through. There’s a pounding in his head that Hoseok says is caused by the concussion, which means he needs to avoid moving his head around too much, no screen (which is fine, his phone is busted anyway), lots of rest and some pills for the pain. Nausea is the worst part of it, which keeps him down when it hits. Hoseok fusses over him each time it happens, even if Shownu doesn’t say anything. He always reminds Shownu to take deep breaths as well, tends to cleaning his injuries and changing the bandages as needed. 

As strange as Hoseok is, he’s painfully endearing. Often soft spoken and encouraging, Hoseok makes it clear he knows what he’s talking about. Sometimes, in the days he has been resting, he hears Hoseok talking to himself, or on the phone to someone else. Someone named Gunhee, who brings supplies for Hoseok to use on Shownu. 

Hoseok is an EMT, Shownu learns. He finds himself learning as much as he can in their limited interactions, paying attention when his mind is clear and eyes following Hoseok’s movements when he’s close. Shownu has been compared to a silent but highly observant bear several times. He wonders if people outside of his friends think that as well. 

What he can’t quite figure out just yet is why Hoseok is going to such lengths to care for someone he doesn’t know. Sure, he said it was because he found Shownu bleeding and in need of help, but he wonders if there’s something else going on. Not many people would listen to a half conscious injured man and not call the police. So, he asks again when Hoseok brings him dinner. 

“It’s not a lot, but I don’t want to push your stomach too much given the nausea,” Hoseok explains as he set down a tray of apple slices and peanut butter crackers. Shownu had earlier mentioned he had no appetite, so Hoseok must have kept that in mind. “You still have to keep your strength up. And if you’re feeling hungry, I can make you something else,” Hoseok offers with a warm smile. 

Thankfully, Shownu is able to feed himself. His knuckles are bruised and scabbed over but the pain is minor compared to the rest of his body. He plucks an apple slice off the plate and eats, watching Hoseok for a moment. 

“What was your real reason for bringing me here?” Shownu asks eventually. The color leaves Hoseok’s already pale face. 

“Real reason?” Hoseok asks. “I didn’t mean to accidentally kidnap you, or anything like that,” Hoseok looks worried. 

“No, I don’t think you kidnapped me,” Shownu chuckles, which surprises both of them. “I’m more curious as to why. Why risk so much for someone like me?” Shownu knew he had to look strange when Hoseok found him. There had been a gun on his person, dressed in his suit, covered in blood. Hoseok was helping someone that can be extremely dangerous.

“I don’t know what someone like you is like,” Hoseok points out. 

“All the more reason to not do what you did,” Shownu counters. Hoseok winces at that. 

“Then tell me who someone like you is,” he offers with a gleam in his eyes. Shownu is surprised. “Tell me and that way it’s not so weird.” 

“Kind of flawed logic there, don’t you think?” Shownu questions with humor in his tone. This Hoseok fellow certainly is interesting. 

“You can’t blame the logic of a guy who saved a stranger from bleeding to death by a dumpster.” 

“Fair.” Shownu has to pause and think. There’s only so much he can reveal about himself, no matter how willing he is to say it. “I’m twenty-five, you know my name already.” 

“That’s not much to go off of,” Hoseok snorts softly, but he’s smiling the whole time. “We’re the same age, so there’s that,” he points out before he thinks of another question. “What’s your job? It’s gotta be something weird if you ended up how I found you,” he points out and Shownu nods. 

“I can’t really get into that,” Shownu says with ease. Hoseok is the one to look a little shocked that time. 

“No way,” Hoseok starts, sitting up straighter in his chair. “Are you like a spy or something? Do you work for the government? Or are you like a drug lord or-” 

“I am none of those things,” Shownu’s cheeks turn pink at all the occupations Hoseok has come up with. Some were close to what he does, but not really spot on. So Shownu keeps denying them for the time being. Hoseok purses his lips and looks like he’s waiting for more information. Shownu has never been good at talking about himself. “I like food. Just in general,” He clears his throat and Hoseok breaks into a huge grin. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Even if I know so little about you, you’re already very interesting,” Hoseok explains. Shownu has to laugh and shake his head at that. 

“I could say the same about you.” 

\--

Three more days pass. Shownu keeps sleeping for the most part, starting to feel marginally better. At least he’s able to keep food down and get up to use the bathroom, even if Hoseok is right there, just in case. There’s still some privacy given to him, a bit of awkwardness blooming between them, but neither address it directly. They also figured out that he could fit into most of Hoseok’s extra clothes, as they’re relatively the same size. He only wears soft sweatpants and old, loose tee-shirts, but it’s comfortable and he can hardly complain. 

Shownu is getting better, which means he has to leave soon. If he had thought it possible to leave earlier, he would have. Some part of him is finding great comfort in Hoseok’s company, in the sometimes bubbly man that flirts when he speaks. Shownu isn’t entirely sure he is aware of the flirting thing, as it seems to just be how Hoseok talks. Either way, he smiles a lot and Shownu, concussion or not, has to acknowledge that it’s a very pretty smile. 

Shownu is reminded that all this time, Hoseok has been sleeping on his own couch and out of his own space. He’s been running around the apartment to make sure Shownu is taken care of and tended to, gentle and sweet with him despite being strangers. They share stories now and then, when Shownu is feeling awake and up to talking. Hoseok always listens attentively, trying to learn exactly who Shownu is. He even makes more guesses about what Shownu’s job is, but none are ever confirmed or outright denied. It’s almost like a fun little game between them, one Shownu is growing to enjoy. Sometimes, he gets phone calls from the friend helping him out and Hoseok will disappear for a few minutes. It’s mostly Hoseok reporting to his friend that yes, Shownu is in fact still alive. 

Of course, there are some times that Hoseok is not happy and chipper. Not that he is ever mean or harsh to Shownu, but he can see the weight on the shorter man’s broad shoulders. It comes and goes, usually when Hoseok thinks that Shownu won’t notice or is asleep. Shownu, however, notices everything. Like how Hoseok seems anxious today, checking his phone more often than not as if he’s waiting for a call. 

Shownu doesn’t ask, but gets his answer in the middle of the afternoon. He wakes from a nap to the sound of Hoseok talking to someone. There’s no other voice, so he’s able to piece together it’s a phone call. Hoseok’s voice is tight, strained and trying to stay calm. Shownu was alarmed at how easy Hoseok is to read as he can make out the frustration and anger in Hoseok’s tone. Or maybe he’s just paying a lot of attention, because there’s nothing else for him to focus on (Yes, Shownu thinks, that’s all it is). 

“Sir, I don’t see- yes, I know the rules, I can handle- if you’d just  _ listen _ -” Hoseok is cut off repeatedly. He keeps trying to get a word in, but a full sentence never makes it out. There’s a drawn out pause, Shownu listening closely. Eventually, he hears Hoseok speak again. “I understand. Thank you, sir.” 

It’s resigned and quiet. Hoseok does not hide his emotions well and Shownu can tell from where he is that the other is upset. When Hoseok doesn’t make another sound or appear in the room, Shownu decides to get up and move himself. It hurts, of course, but the compulsion he feels to check on Hoseok is stronger. One arm wrapped around his ribs, Shownu makes his way to the living room to find Hoseok sitting on the couch, staring down at the phone in his hands. 

Shownu is suddenly, painfully, aware that he doesn’t know what to say. Hoseok is upset over something, but he doesn’t know the details. He curses his own awkwardness and tries to close the gap between them anyway. 

“You okay?” He asks. Hoseok startles as he looks up at Shownu like he hadn’t heard the other approaching. “I, um, heard parts of your phone call. You sounded upset, so I wanted to check,” Shownu clears his throat and averts his eyes. Hoseok is just staring at him and it’s a little weird. 

“I was officially fired,” Hoseok replies as he smiles at Shownu. It doesn’t reach his eyes and he looks so far from happy. “Not that it matters, but I was put on leave the day I found you. And they decided they don’t want me back at all.” He drops his phone so he can press the heel of his palms to his eyes, desperate to hide his tears. Shownu notices how red Hoseok’s ears are, the color spreading up from his neck. He’s embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry,” Shownu moves closer in slow steps. Eventually, he makes it to the couch and sits down beside Hoseok, who still has his eyes covered. “You don’t have to hide how upset you are,” he offers in hopes of soothing the other just a little. 

Hoseok laughs at that, scrubbing at his eyes before he looks at Shownu. Red-rimmed and glassy eyes focus on him. “You literally almost died and you’re comforting me about losing a job? You shouldn’t be out of bed.” 

“I’m fine,” Shownu responds automatically. He frowns at himself for it before trying again. “Really, I’m okay. I’m getting better because of you, this is the least I could do in return.” He thinks over his next few words, wanting to be sincere but considerate. Hoseok deserves that much. “You’ve done a lot of hard work.  _ Good  _ work, Hoseok. You saved my life,” Shownu reaches out and puts a hand on the other’s shoulder. Hoseok stills under his touch. “You’re allowed to feel upset right now. I’m not going to judge you.”

“You’re weird,” Hoseok laughs, his nose stuffed up and cheeks stained with tears. “This whole situation is weird, and now I’m out of a job,” his laugh breaks off into a muffled sob that time, burying his face in his hands again. Shownu, not knowing what else to do, keeps his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. He agreed, it was all very weird. But at the same time, the strangeness of it all never upset Shownu in the slightest. 

His heart sinks when he realizes he is going to have to leave Hoseok soon. That he will likely never see him again once he is out the door. 

Shownu shoves the thoughts back down and refocuses his attention on Hoseok. He thinks of something to offer, something that could cheer him up in the slightest. He also chooses not to acknowledge why he feels the need to cheer Hoseok up. Another squeeze to Hoseok’s shoulder and Shownu moves his hand to pull one of Hoseok’s away from his face. This whole time, Hoseok has only been helping him. Unafraid of just being himself around a stranger, of helping someone that he has no connection to. Hoseok gets nothing out of this, and that alone is commendable in Shownu’s eyes. 

Once he successfully pulls Hoseok’s hand down, Shownu doesn’t even think as he moves. He slips his pointer finger and thumb on Hoseok’s chin and gently lifts his face so he can see the other’s eyes. Hoseok’s face is already red but seems to grow even brighter at the contact. 

“Do you like pizza?” Shownu asks. Clearly a bit confused, Hoseok nods, Shownu still holding his chin up. He smiles softly and motions to Hoseok’s phone. “I have an idea.” 

They order pizza with some tricks thanks to Shownu. He tells Hoseok he has favors with a local place, which is true, and gets them a free pizza and cookies on the side. His father knew the man that runs the place since they were teenagers and had had a deal for years now with free pizzas involved. Hoseok teases repeatedly about the whole situation but also thanks Shownu a few times. Shownu brushes it off as nothing that big, even if his ears turning red gives him away completely. 

It’s how they end up sitting on the couch together for a better part of the night, until the sun sets and darkness fills in the sky. Shownu has been up and talking the longest ever since he first came to Hoseok’s apartment, and it feels good. They talk about a variety of things over food and watching stupid reality television. It starts small, like favorite colors or food, but grows from there about opinions on life and different things in the world. 

Shownu discovers that he and Hoseok are similar in a lot of their thoughts. He also realizes that he really enjoys listening to Hoseok talk about anything, likes to see his eyes light up and a smile spread over his face. 

That’s what he’s thinking about even as he starts to doze off. Shownu’s energy is still severely limited, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat just yet. It’s only when they’re watching some movie that Shownu doesn’t recognize that his eyes slip shut. 

“Hey, Shownu,” Hoseok carefully nudges his shoulder. “We should get you back in bed, staying out here will aggravate everything,” his voice is soft and warm. Shownu instinctively leans towards it. Hoseok is trying to say something else when Shownu just nuzzles into his shoulder instead. 

“I’m good,” he mumbles sleepily as his full weight leans into Hoseok’s side. He falls asleep there, comfortable and happy in ways that he can’t remember feeling in a long, long time. Hoseok might have said something else to him, but Shownu doesn’t comprehend it. He drifts peacefully with the distinct feeling of fingers petting his hair. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I finally got through more of my writer's block after a rather rough ending to 2020. There's one more chapter to wrap up their back to story! I'm thinking of including a teaser for the main story, if anyone is interested? I'm also planning back stories for the others to share eventually. Thank you all for reading! I hope you stay safe!! <3

It’s officially over a week since Shownu was found by a dumpster. Hoseok can’t quite believe that it’s real sometimes. The absurdity of the situation is not lost on him, or Shownu. Or even Gunhee when he makes appearances to give more supplies. Things are slowing down and while Shownu is far from healed, he’s doing much better. Hoseok decides to order food for them, as he’s running low on groceries and needs to fix something to eat. 

He still hasn’t figured out what to do about the lack of a job. Right now, he’ll be fine. He has enough saved up to sustain for a little while, but then he’ll be in trouble. Of course, none of this is mentioned to Shownu and especially not to Gunhee. Hoseok doesn’t want to face his old friend with that unless he has to. So for now, he orders food and tells Shownu he’ll let him know when it’s there. Shownu thanks him and opts to take a short nap on the bed. The man needs as much sleep as he can get. 

Hoseok is starting to wonder where the food is and what’s taking so long, because it’s been an hour and the food has yet to arrive. A knock finally comes to his door, Hoseok hops off of his couch and bounds towards the door, honestly excited to eat. He opens the door and smiles when he spots the delivery person, just a bit shorter than him. 

“Ah, hello!” the boy smiles in greeting, mousy brown hair tucked into a uniform cap. He’s wearing a matching shirt and holds out a bag of food. He looks younger than he actually is, if Hoseok can make a guess at his age. “Are you Mr. Lee Hoseok?” he asks. 

“That’s me,” Hoseok nods. “Thanks for-” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt,” the boy continues, looking a little nervous. “There was a problem with your payment, your card didn’t go through but I didn’t realize it until I was halfway here,” he explains, cheeks turning red. He looks embarrassed. Hoseok wonders if this was part of why it took so long to get there. “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience,” the boy bows. 

“It’s okay,” Hoseok waves a hand at him and steps to the side, allowing the delivery boy into his apartment without a second thought. “I have cash, will that work?” He assumes he has to pay still, which is fine. The boy nods, thanks him for being so understanding. Hoseok just smiles like he always does and goes to dig for his wallet in the kitchen. 

He doesn’t hear the door click shut behind the delivery boy, or the quiet steps approaching him. 

“Alright, here’s your-” Hoseok is cut off by the delivery boy suddenly being much closer to him. He startles, swallows a yelp and stares, one hand still extended with cash in it. “Is...is something wrong?” 

“I have another question for you,” the boy’s voice is different, like he had been pitching it higher before. Hoseok feels his mouth go dry. What on earth was happening? “Where is Shownu?” 

It feels like he got punched in the chest and all the air is rushing out of him. Hoseok stammers for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around how quickly this is happening. Instead, the delivery boy repeats the question, this time with more force. 

“How did you know- I mean, who, or what,” Hoseok jumbles his words together. He wants to ask who this boy actually is, and how he knows the man in his bedroom. “Why are you after him?” is what comes out instead. 

“Where is he?” is growled back at him. In a flash, Hoseok is staring down the pistol now being pointed at him. When did that get there? “You have five seconds to answer me.” 

“He-” Hoseok tries to steady himself and points towards his bedroom. At the same time, there’s a sound from the hall leading to his room. 

“Kihyun?” Shownu asks, sounding absolutely startled. The boy, Kihyun apparently, whips his head to the side and spots Shownu. He puts the gun down immediately and rushes to the taller man. “How did you get here?” 

“I’ve been looking for you for a week!” Kihyun is already checking Shownu over, seeing his injuries and looking more and more worried the more he finds. 

“Excuse me, but what the fuck is happening?”

Hoseok’s question goes unanswered. He continues to stand there with his mouth gaping open like a fish on dry land, as the two continue to talk. Or rather, Kihyun continues to talk as he asks a million questions in rapid fire, Shownu only blinking a few times as he tries to comprehend all of them. 

“I thought you were dead, your phone was offline and none of the tracking was working. You disappeared-” Kihyun’s voice is steady and he hardly shows emotion, but somehow the worry still shines through. Hoseok thinks he can see the worry because it’s readable on Shownu’s face. “The last thing we found was blood. Then when the order for pizza came up, I came here.” 

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Shownu is saying. Hoseok is still trying to wrap his brain around everything again. Right when he thinks nothing can get any weirder than it has been, this is happening. There is another man in his apartment, who was just pointing a gun at him, and is now talking to Shownu- the guy he saved a week ago behind a dumpster.

What the fuck is his life? 

“And you,” Now Kihyun is rounding on Hoseok again, pointing a finger at his chest. “How did you get involved?” 

Hoseok’s mouth is still hanging open. Words escape him. He’s struggling to think of what to say. 

“He saved me,” Shownu fills in for him. “Found me and brought me here. He has been taking very good care of me.” 

Kihyun stares hard at Hoseok before looking Shownu over once more. “Well, you are alive. So I guess I can give him some credit,” Kihyun folds his arms over his chest. 

“Thanks?” Hoseok manages. “Listen, I don’t know- just. What’s going on? Am I in some kind of trouble now?” 

“No,” Shownu answers quickly, brows furrowed. “Not at all. You’re safe, I promise you that much.” 

Kihyun balks at the comment, mouth popping open and looking at Shownu like he’s losing his marbles. Hoseok tries not to notice, even if he feels like he’s still caught in a whirlwind of things happening at once. 

“Shownu, you can’t offer protection, or-” Kihyun is cut off when Shownu raises his hand and shakes his head. 

“Not protection. He’s safe from anything happening. No one besides you knows I’m here. Hoseok is safe,” Shownu explains. 

Kihyun accepts the answer, looking much calmer than he had moments before. Hoseok draws in a deep breath and slowly lets it out. His hands are shaking, but he hopes that no one says anything about it. He just wants this moment to pass, to go back to his blissful ignorance to the situation at hand. 

Shownu turns to say something else to Kihyun. Hoseok is still taking deep breaths to keep from freaking out more. Without really understanding it all, Hoseok finds himself seated on the couch, Kihyun and Shownu talking in hushed voices in the kitchen. They asked for a moment to speak privately- at least as privately as they could in Hoseok’s little apartment. He waits, fidgeting with his fingers, the hem of his shirt, even picking bits of worn fabric on the couch. He’s nervous and needs to move somehow and all he has are his hands at the moment. 

The voices stop in the kitchen, Kihyun appears first and Shownu soon after, though moving much slower. Kihyun seems to hover around Shownu, like he was ready to catch the taller man should he start to fall.

“Everything okay?” He finds himself asking before he can think the words out. Kihyun pulls a face at him, but Shownu just nods. 

“You can go, it’s okay,” Shownu says to Kihyun. The shorter man doesn’t seem happy with that, but he goes. Without another word to Hoseok, Kihyun is back out the door, leaving only Shownu and Hoseok there. 

Hoseok has no idea what to do next. Or say. That was somehow almost, almost, crazier than finding Shownu by a dumpster. He’d just had a gun pointed at his face and Kihyun was already gone again. It was only when he feels a hand on his shoulder that he jolts out of his thoughts. 

“What the hell was all that?” Hoseok asks. He grimaces a second later and sighs, hands rubbing over his face. That’s all he can think to ask and he knows he sounds like a broken record. 

“A colleague,” Shownu answers. Hoseok eyes him with suspicion. Shownu sighs and sits on the couch beside him. “A friend. He works with me. He was just worried.” 

“So more secret spy stuff.” 

“I told you, I’m not a spy.” 

“Mm, sounds like something a spy would say.” 

“Hoseok.” 

“Shownu,” Hoseok says back and frowns. Or pouts. He’s trying to be serious but this whole thing is beyond insane. “A man just came into my apartment posing as a delivery boy, pointed a gun at me, and demanded to know where you are. I’m kind of overwhelmed at the moment.” 

“Fair,” Shownu agrees with a nod. “Kihyun is my friend, that much is true. He tracked me through the pizza order, that’s how he found your place.” 

“Really?” 

“It’s...sort of a code. Ordering from that specific store is a way we can notify someone, in a sense. I can’t say too much,” Shownu sounds shy. He even looks like he’s blushing. Hoseok has to fight himself to stop thinking about how cute it is. “I really did just want to get food for us.”

“So, whatever job you have,” Hoseok waves his hand in Shownu’s general direction. “There’s a code where ordering a pizza is a signal and you have friends in your field that are willing to attack?” 

“More or less,” Shownu replies.

“You’re very good at answering things vaguely,” Hoseok points out. 

“Practice,” Shownu grins that time. His humor is dumb and simple, Hoseok thinks, but he ends up grinning, too. Shownu is simple, but complicated at the same time. 

There’s so much Hoseok wants to know, to ask, but knows he can never have the answer. A man that’s so easy to please (especially when given food) and gentle, despite the condition Hoseok found him in. Shownu is like a walking paradox. Hoseok knows he has to be at least somewhat dangerous- be it through his job, his physical strength, or both. He also knows that Shownu answers as directly as possible, vague when he has to be, and simple. How someone so relaxed, content on existing as he was and eating. Shownu, who was shockingly good at keeping a blank face, one that looked intimidating until he smiled. Shownu, who looks like an angry bear when he eats because his brows furrow so much. It’s painfully cute to see. At least, that’s what Hoseok thinks of him. 

“What happens next?” Hoseok asks to break the silence again. 

“That’s what Kihyun and I discussed,” Shownu shifts a little, finds a more comfortable position to sit in. He has to be hurting still, Hoseok thinks. “I’ll be returning to the-” he stops and thinks about the word. 

Hoseok waits. 

“Where I live,” Shownu finishes. Hoseok can’t deny that he’s a little disappointed Shownu didn’t slip up and reveal something more. “Kihyun lives there, too. He’s sending a pickup, so I can finish my recovery at home.” 

“Oh,” Hoseok tries so hard to hide the disappointment in his tone. He’s never been good at hiding any of his emotions and Shownu can see right through it now, too. “That’s good, though! I knew you weren’t staying here forever, I’m just glad that you’ll still be looked after and recover fully.” He forces a bright smile. 

“Yeah,” Shownu nods, eyes glancing down to the floor instead of Hoseok’s face. “And nothing bad will happen to you,” he adds, like he had to make sure it was clear. 

“I know,” Hoseok laughs. “I trust you.” 

Shownu’s cheeks turn pink. Hoseok thinks of how much this man has changed his life in such a short time together. When Shownu is gone, he’ll be alone and jobless. He can already feel the knots forming in his gut, the hole in his heart starting to grow. It had always been there, but now it’s growing bigger. The loneliness Hoseok felt, the way he had been doing what he wanted, but never feels completely happy with it. He never puts a name to it, trying to convince himself that it will pass. Now that he knows Shownu is leaving today, he struggles even more to keep that feeling from bubbling over. 

“Well, I’m still hungry and your friend didn’t actually bring food, so I’m going to make something,” Hoseok stands before Shownu can say anything else. He avoids problems by staying busy and refusing to think of them. It was the same tactic that had landed him in trouble at work. Because without a doubt, he knows that he can only go so long like this until he breaks. 

He had broken apart at work. Got angry at himself, at others, for something that was out of their control. That only ended in losing his job. Hoseok knows he’s been like this since he was a little kid. Gunhee has even reminded him of it throughout their friendship. 

Silence prevails over the apartment after that, Hoseok piddling around in the kitchen to find something to cook. Truth be told, he doesn’t really want to eat. His appetite is dwindling after the incident with Kihyun and the knowledge that Shownu is going to leave soon. Somehow, it feels like he’s done something wrong. Hoseok knows he is, again, taking it too personally. His search for food is just an excuse to have a moment alone. 

Even that is short lived. He doesn’t hear Shownu approaching, or how the man stops and says his name softly. It’s only when Shownu puts a hand on his shoulder that Hoseok startles back into reality. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Shownu’s brow is creased in the middle, concern clear in his features. Hoseok smiles and tries his best to look okay. 

“It’s alright,” he says and turns back to what he was doing. Which, well. Is a whole lot of nothing. He still tries to look busy by grabbing his kettle and filling it with water. “I haven’t been to the store in ages, so I’m limited to some instant noodles-” 

“Hoseok,” Shownu stops him. Hoseok doesn’t want to look him in the eye. For a second, it looks like Shownu is struggling to find words. Given that he is usually the silent type, Hoseok isn’t too surprised. “Are you really okay?” is what Shownu manages to ask. 

The shorter man thinks. He is okay, mostly. He will be if nothing else. He’ll move on from this strange ache in his chest just like he does everything else. Hoseok doesn’t have a choice in the matter. 

“Yeah,” he squeaks out. His mind is still reeling at the idea of Shownu leaving. The day’s events had thrown him and now he’s spiraling down. “Just...a little shaken up, I guess. I’m a big baby, you know,” he forces a laugh. 

Shownu frowns at the sound. 

“You’re not, though,” Shownu’s hand is still on his shoulder, having never broken the contact. He gives Hoseok’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Most people would be upset after having a gun pointed at them.” 

Yeah, that wasn’t fun, Hoseok thought. But that isn’t what is really making him upset. There isn’t a word for the feeling yet, but it is there. It’s lodged in his chest, doomed to fester for however long it stuck around. Maybe he just liked to feel useful, or needed, or wanted the company. Hoseok thinks himself to be stupid for feeling any of those. 

He’s only known Shownu for a week. Why does he feel this upset? Hoseok shakes his head, clears his thoughts away as best as possible. The look on Shownu’s face says he wants to offer comfort, or something close to it, but he lacks the words. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok agrees finally, because he’s taken too long talking in his head and Shownu is starting to look more concerned. Shownu’s hand is still on his shoulder, squeezing just a bit tighter. “I’m...I’m going to make um,” he glances around and tries to find something quickly. “Probably ramyeon. Do you want some? Or…I wasn’t sure how much longer you’d be here...” 

“Oh,” Shownu blinks and pulls his hand away from Hoseok’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, Kihyun won’t be back for a few hours. I asked for some time.” 

Why he asked for time is beyond Hoseok at that point, so he just nods and gets to cooking instead. 

\--

Hoseok joins Shownu in the living room with two piping hot bowls of ramyeon. They eat together in silence for the most part. Shownu isn’t bothered by it in the slightest. He’s used to quiet, is normally very quiet himself. Hoseok makes a sound, causing Shownu to look up from his bowl. It’s clear he’s giggling but trying to hide it as he still has a mouthful of noodles. 

Shownu simply stares, brows bunched together, not knowing what’s so funny. Hoseok gives him an answer once he manages to swallow his food without choking. 

“Why do you look so angry when you eat?” Hoseok is grinning. 

“I...don’t?” Shownu questions, because he never pays attention to what his face is doing around Hoseok. Something about the other throws him off just enough for someone who is usually very trained in keeping his face neutral. 

“You do!” Hoseok laughs more. “You look so focused and angry,” he imitates the face, opening his eyes wider and scrunching his brows together. Shownu watches him, listens as Hoseok comments on how he somehow looks smaller when he’s eating. 

But then Shownu realizes he’s just watching. He’s taking in Hoseok’s expression as he laughs, how his mood seems a little lighter than it had when they were in the kitchen. And then he realizes he’s thinking about the fact that he’s leaving. Soon enough, he’ll be going back to his base, back to healing and his job, back to a life where Hoseok doesn’t exist. He can’t exist there, Shownu thinks. 

Hoseok is too good to be stuck doing what Shownu does. 

Even if their time together has been short in the grand scheme of things, Shownu knows he’ll never forget the gummy smile, the way his ears poked out, or how each expression looks on Hoseok’s face. It’s burned into his memory forever and he isn’t quite sure what to do with everything he’s feeling at the moment. 

“Eat more before it gets cold,” Hoseok breaks Shownu out of his thoughts. “You alright?” Hoseok asks, just to make sure. Shownu nods and starts to eat again. 

“Just thinking,” He explains and Hoseok accepts the answer. Instead of eating more, he sits there grappling with everything buzzing around in his head. Then he makes a decision. 

“Hyunwoo,” he says. 

Hoseok looks up at him. Before he can ask what Shownu is talking about, he continues. 

“My real name is Hyunwoo.” 

Hoseok stares with wide eyes, like it had never occurred to him that Shownu wasn’t his real name. He had been trusting enough to accept Shownu as he was, and that made his heart do funny things in his chest. 

“Wh- why did you bring that up?” Hoseok looks all kinds of confused. 

“Because I wanted you to know.” 

“Am I allowed to know that?” Hoseok adds and Shownu has to smile. 

“Yes, you are. I trust you.” 

And that alone speaks volumes of how Shownu is feeling. Hoseok seems to get it, too, because his cheeks turn pink as he smiles down into his food. Shownu settles back into comfortable silence as they finish their last meal together. 

\--

Kihyun arrives at his apartment again dressed much differently. He’s in a crisp black suit, much like the one Hoseok had found Shownu in. Kihyun isn’t friendly- not that he’s outright mean, either. He’s cold, almost clinically so, around Hoseok. Which really, he can’t blame Kihyun for. There’s something much more happening than Hoseok can ever know, so he just accepts it for the time being. 

Shownu is resting on the couch. Hoseok isn’t sure how he’s going to do anything once Shownu is gone. It hasn’t fully settled into his mind yet that he has no job. Shownu has occupied his thoughts this past week. To think that he’ll be gone, that there’s no one else to take care of, leaves Hoseok feeling shaky. 

But he puts on his brave face and holds it in. 

“Are you able to walk to the elevator?” Kihyun asks. Shownu nods once and stands slowly. He grimaces as one hand comes to press to his side. Without even thinking, Hoseok is moving forward and bracing Shownu’s back with one hand. 

It’s only after he makes sure that Shownu is standing on his own, and able to keep doing so, that he notices Kihyun’s stare. The shorter man is watching them both. If Hoseok didn’t know better, he swears he can see a spark in Kihyun’s eyes. 

“Did you bring it?” Shownu asks Kihyun once he’s feeling less pain. 

“Of course,” Kihyun reaches into his pocket. 

“Bring what?” Hoseok looks between the two, before a small device is being shoved at him. Kihyun is holding out what looks like an old iphone, waiting for Hoseok to take it. “What’s this?” 

“Just keep it for emergencies,” Shownu says. “It only works one way and no one should be able to track it that easily. It’s...it’s the least I could offer after everything you’ve done for me.” 

“I don’t need payment,” Hoseok frowns up at Shownu. The elder shakes his head and smiles. 

“It’s not payment, Hoseok. It’s just something I wanted to do for you. I can’t thank you enough for saving me,” his words are gentle and soft. Hoseok thinks he’s going weak in the knees, that same strange feeling in his chest coming to life once more. “Take care, okay?” 

“You, too,” Hoseok accepts the phone, holding it in both of his hands like it’s something precious. Really, it is. Shownu didn’t really explain what it could do, or when Hoseok would need it, but it’s a gift he’ll cherish forever. 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls yell with me about showho being soft because i desperately need it in my life always


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who wrote too much and had to make this 4 chapters instead of 3? WHOOPS. Did you guys know I love Showho? Like so much? And I can't always control myself when I start writing for them? I did *very* light research on ports in Korea, so please correct me if I messed up! Some slight angst in this chapter, and I really hope the next one will be the end! Thank everyone again for all their kind words, I'm so happy people are enjoying this fic!

Hoseok follows Kihyun and Shownu out the door. He’s not sure if he’s actually supposed to, but it just happens. No one stops him. He walks with them after getting off the elevator, worrying over Shownu right up until the last second- even as the older man is getting into the car. 

Another person is present as the driver, Hoseok realizes, but pays him no mind. The car itself is a nondescript black SUV with tinted windows and curtains to hide the back half completely. Shownu sits in the back and closes his eyes for a moment. Hoseok feels his anxiousness building as he waits for the last second. 

Kihyun appears then, making sure Shownu puts on his seatbelt and then turns to Hoseok. He’s just a bit shorter than Hoseok and he looks so much older now that he’s not posing as a delivery boy. Probably close to the same age as him. 

“Before we left, I wanted to thank you,” Kihyun says. His eyes, while still sharp, seemed softer around the edges. Even a faint hint of a smile is gracing his lips. 

“O-oh, you don’t have to,” Hoseok puts his hands up and chuckles. He never knows what to do with himself when someone thanks. 

“You saved my best friend,” Kihyun’s voice wavers just briefly. Hoseok wonders if he actually hears it or not. “I’m sorry for the whole...kitchen incident,” Kihyun shifts on his feet before he takes a breath and continues. “You can’t be too careful in our line of work, and I had assumed the worst of you. So, I apologize.” 

“You mean spy work?” Hoseok tries. Kihyun rolls his eyes. 

“Not spies,” he corrects. Damn it, how did they both do that all the time? 

“Uh- well, I appreciate that. All forgiven, no worries,” Hoseok smiles. Kihyun looks up at him and snorts. There’s a gleam in his eyes that makes Hoseok feel like he’s being judged. Not negatively but- appraised maybe? There’s no disdain or hate in Kihyun’s expression this time, and if there are any bad feelings, Kihyun does a damn good job of keeping them hidden. 

“I am very thankful for all you did. I mean that,” he presses. Hoseok doesn’t know Kihyun well enough to know how much weight those words carry. Still, his face heats up. 

“I’m glad I could help at all, and that he’s safe,” Hoseok rubs the back of his neck. He wants to ask if there’s a chance he’ll ever see either of them again. He knows it’s slim and highly unlikely, but the hope is still there. Instead, Hoseok keeps smiling and doesn’t ask anything. 

Kihyun nods, shakes Hoseok’s hand and thanks him again, before he goes around the car to get in on the other side. The door is left open, giving Hoseok one last look at Shownu. The older man seemed to be dozing off just a bit, but cracked an eye open when he heard Kihyun get into the seat next to him. Shownu sees Hoseok, smiles just a bit. 

“Thank you for everything again, Hoseok,” the way Shownu says his name honestly makes Hoseok want to melt.  _ That’s  _ a feeling he’ll have to sort out eventually. 

“Stop thanking me,” Hoseok laughs. “Maybe promise not to end up around dumpsters again? Unless you know I’m there, of course.” 

Shownu grins, maybe brighter than Hoseok has ever seen before. His eyes turn into little crescents, making him that much cuter in appearance. How Shownu goes from the stoic man he first met to this grinning goober is baffling. Hoseok likes it, though. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Shownu finally replies. He reaches out a hand and grabs Hoseok’s, his grip gentle and warm. Hoseok feels his heart rate spike and heat climb up in his cheeks. “Stay safe, okay?” 

Hoseok has to look at their hands for a moment, dragging his eyes slowly back up to Shownu’s face. This feels like saying goodbye to a lifelong friend when all you want is to spend a few more hours with them. It feels like the emptiness Hoseok never wants to experience again. He’s said goodbye to people before. Some permanently, some not. This one still hurts in an unexpected way and the sting of tears is already a problem. Hoseok swears he won’t cry in front of Shownu, or on the sidewalk where people can see him. 

“I will. You too, Hyunwoo,” Hoseok dares to use his real name. Shownu blinks, clearly surprised at hearing it, but grins once again. He squeezes Hoseok’s hand. It’s a little thing between them and Hoseok never wants the moment to end. 

But it does. They have to part eventually, Hoseok stepping back as the door starts to close. He watches as Shownu disappears behind the curtained window, Kihyun with him. The driver carefully pulls back out into traffic and drives away. He keeps watching until there’s nothing left to see. 

That was it. His chest feels tight, air harder and harder to pull into his lungs, his eyes burning with the urge to cry. Hoseok hurries himself back inside, if only because he really, really doesn’t want to have a breakdown on the sidewalk. 

He cries in the shower instead. It’s not the first time he’s done this and certainly won’t be the last. There’s just a well of emotions built up inside of him and he lets it all out while he can. Part of him knows that this has been a long time coming- he hasn’t given himself a chance to feel much since he found Shownu. All of his attention was focused on taking care of the man, and not himself. 

He knows he’s also just having a bad day. It didn’t start as a bad day, but things had gotten out of hand and, well. Sort of insane. But either way, bad days happen, always have and always will. Hoseok cries at a lot of things and today is no exception. 

It’s strange to realize how much he misses Shownu when the man has been gone less than thirty minutes. Days of focusing his energy on helping Shownu, doing whatever he could, talking to Gunhee to get supplies, all of it. It’s all over so suddenly that Hoseok feels like he might have whiplash from it. In such a short amount of time, his life has been forever changed. Hot water pounds over his head and the expanse of his shoulders, washing away the tears as they come. Deep down, Hoseok knows he’ll move on from this. He has to. But right now, he just lets himself feel everything he kept at bay for the last week. 

He finishes his shower, sniffling and feeling only marginally better.

\--

Kihyun hasn’t stopped staring at him since the car took off. Shownu eventually gives in, despite trying to fake being unconscious. 

“What?” Shownu turns to look at his friend. Kihyun pulls a face, trying his best to hide a smirk. 

“Oh, nothing,” he says in that smug sort of way. 

“You don’t stare unless you have reason to,” Shownu points out. Kihyun shrugs, feigns ignorance while he’s at it. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kihyun sing-songs. 

“You little shit,” Shownu huffs. Kihyun finally looks at him again and stifles a laugh. He knows it’s because he doesn’t swear often. But one Yoo Kihyun is, in fact, a little shit. 

“If you’re calling me that, then you know what I’m thinking,” Kihyun folds his arms over his chest. “I saw the way you were looking at that guy.” 

“Hoseok,” Shownu answers before he realizes what he just did. He waltzed right into Kihyun's set up without a second thought. “Shit,” he groans. Kihyun didn’t say Hoseok’s name on purpose and Shownu corrected him for it. This was going to be held over his head for ages, he just knew it. 

“I know you too well, hyung,” Kihyun pats his shoulder carefully. Shownu has to laugh just a little, shaking his head. Kihyun is right. He does know Shownu, sometimes better than Shownu knows himself. 

“You know,” Kihyun continues. Shownu raises a brow, a questioning look on his face. “We’re technically hiring. Last I saw, Mr. Lee doesn’t have a job right now.” 

“You checked his records,” Shownu isn’t surprised. 

“You went missing for a week and showed up at a random man’s apartment. You think I wouldn’t check his records?” Kihyun retaliates. Shownu waves his hand dismissively, knowing Kihyun has too much of a point. 

“I get what you’re going for, Kihyun, I do. But...no.” 

“No?” Kihyun sounds genuinely surprised. 

“No,” Shownu repeats. “I couldn’t ask something like that of him. I don’t think…” he has to pause and draw in a deep breath. He closes his eyes. For a moment, it feels too overwhelming. Shownu always schools his emotions and expressions into careful blankness, especially when working. But this time, they feel too strong. “I don’t want to do that to him.” 

“You think he’s too soft?” Kihyun asks. Shownu quickly shakes his head. 

“No. Yes- I don’t know. Maybe?” Shownu groans. “Not too soft, he’s not weak.” 

“I wasn’t implying he was,” Kihyun turns in his seat to better look at Shownu. “Sometimes, people are truly too soft to do certain jobs, and that’s okay. You and I both know how much this can fuck someone up, mentally and physically.” 

Shownu says nothing in response. He lets out a long sigh, tired and aching from moving around, but missing Hoseok in a way he doesn’t know how to handle. Kihyun picks up enough and pats his shoulder again. 

“It’s okay,” Kihyun reassures him. His tone is much softer now, which Shownu appreciates. “Get some rest, I’ll wake you when we’re back.” 

Shownu nods, keeping his eyes closed as he tries his best to ignore how much he misses Hoseok already. 

\--

A few weeks go by. Hoseok spends the first few days just trying to get back into the right headspace. He eventually tells Gunhee that Shownu has left, he doesn’t need any more supplies. Gunhee insists that they get together and talk again. Maybe hang out for a while. Hoseok knows it’s because his friend is worried. Gunhee, for all his rough and tough demeanor, is compassionate and caring. Hoseok knows this, is used to this, but still puts it off for as long as he can.

He hasn’t told Gunhee about losing his job yet, either. It might come up naturally, Hoseok figures, given that he’s never showing up to the hospital to drop off patients anymore. But for now, it’s still a good excuse to not meet up, to not go anywhere. He has to be careful with his money, and having “work” take up all of his freetime lets him do that. 

Hoseok passed time by cleaning his apartment as much as possible. It’s hard work but he feels fulfilled by it. The only problem with that plan is that once all the deep cleaning is done, it’s done. He’s out of things to do again to keep his hands busy and his mind focused. 

So he works out more during the day. His gym membership is still covered for the rest of the year, so he just goes a bit harder than he normally does. It feels good and he can usually wear himself down to keep from thinking too much. He works out until he’s exhausted, goes home to eat, shower, and crash into bed. Sure, it’s a little monotonous, but it’s regular and gives Hoseok the idea of a schedule to go by. 

He keeps up the routine until Gunhee finally calls him on his shit and purposefully avoiding his friend all the time. 

Hoseok wakes up to texts from Gunhee himself, saying that he would be over before his shift at the hospital. Hoseok checks the time and scrambles out of bed in an instant. Gunhee sent the text over an hour ago and he was bound to show up any minute. As if simply thinking of that, Hoseok hears a knock at his door. 

“Shit,” he hisses to himself and runs to the door, only in boxers and tee-shirt. He throws it open as he catches his breath, giving Gunhee a nervous smile. 

Gunhee stares hard at him before he steps into the apartment. He glances around, like he still expects to see Shownu there, despite it being weeks since the man left. Finding nothing, he turns to look at Hoseok again, tilting his head. 

“Were you going to tell me you got fired?” Gunhee starts with the one question Hoseok doesn’t want to answer. It feels like a punch in the gut. 

“No,” Hoseok starts. “Yes. Eventually. Maybe,” he clears his throat. His black hair is disheveled, sticking up all over the place, sleep still crusts his eyes, and his nose is all stuffed up. Hoseok doesn’t want to have this talk right now. “I just saw your text before you got here.” 

“I can tell,” Gunhee gives Hoseok a once over. Hoseok frowns. 

“I was just. Trying to figure things out. I’m fine,” Hoseok is dismissive, walking into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. Gunhee still follows him. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be all annoyed and worried,” Hoseok says just to fill the silence. He can feel Gunhee’s eyes boring into his back. 

“More annoyed that you think I would be like that,” Gunhee grumbles. “I’m going to worry about you, because you’re the one that gets into these situations.” 

“What kind of situations?” Hoseok shoots a look over his shoulder at the other man. He doesn’t mean to glare as hard as he does, but Gunhee hardly seems bothered. 

“...Are you for real? Just gonna ignore the whole having a stranger in your home?” Gunhee starts. Before Hoseok can answer, he keeps going. “One that  _ I  _ helped you with, stole shit for, made sure you were both alive? Or should I give you the list of impulsive, stupid things you’ve done your entire life?” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Hoseok grumbles. Gunhee seems caught off guard. It’s not his normal playful banter. 

“You were fired over a month ago, Hoseok! Because you did something impulsive then, too!” Gunhee points out. Hoseok really wishes his friend would leave. “I worry about you because you don’t take care of yourself. You’re always putting everyone else first, but what happens when that shit doesn’t work?” 

“I know how to take care of myself,” Hoseok counters. The coffee is brewing and he really needs the drink to hurry the fuck up. “I don’t need you in here to remind me of how stupid I am.” 

“Hoseok- you’re not-...I didn’t say you were stupid, you just do stupid things sometimes.” 

“And that’s better?” Hoseok grits his teeth. 

“Yeah, because you’re smarter than that. You’re brilliant. I had to call your old work place to ask for you, because you had never worked this much in the past. And I find out you’re fired,” Gunhee sounds hurt. Hoseok doesn’t like that. 

“I didn’t know what to tell you,” Hoseok shrugs and turns back to the coffee. His nose is getting stuffier because he knows he’s going to cry again. “I didn’t want another lecture. I’ll be fine, I’ll find a new job and go from there.” 

Gunhee takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out. Hoseok knows this is his usual tactic to keep calm. He should do the same, but he doesn’t want to. Sometimes, being in a bad mood feels easier. Sometimes, it was just easier to let the negativity sit and run through his mind all day. 

“Do you have enough money?” Gunhee asks next. Hoseok nods mutely. “For how long?” 

“At least three months, maybe more if I’m careful,” he has to answer with words. He just wants to go back to bed now. If his friend’s silence meant anything, Gunhee wasn’t happy with that answer. Really, Hoseok knew his anger and frustration is because Gunhee is calling him out. It was hard to recognize his own bad behavior at times and embarrassing when he’s forced to face it. It made his cheeks burn and words get all jumbled up in his head. 

Hoseok only wants to help people. He wanted to be useful, friendly, encouraging, all of it. So often, this comes at his own expense. But Hoseok was the one pushing himself, not anyone else. He was doing this to avoid getting hurt however he could. If he was always helping, always there to be support, then he can shield himself, too. 

A small voice chides at him in his mind, telling him that’s not how that works and he knows this. Hoseok keeps ignoring it for now. 

“Go get dressed,” Gunhee jabs his thumb towards Hoseok’s bedroom. “I’m taking you to lunch.” 

“Don’t you have-”

“Nope, I’m off today.” 

“But your text,” Hoseok furrows his brow. What’s Gunhee getting at here? 

“I lied to get your ass in gear. That didn’t work, so I’m hoping food will,” Gunhee gives him a smile. As much as Hoseok wants to be mad, wants to be pissy and frustrated, he can’t. Gunhee is looking out for him the best he can. He’s not letting Hoseok sit in his apartment all day to be swallowed up by negative thoughts and depression. 

“You’re an asshole,” Hoseok points out. 

“Always have been, always will be,” Gunhee shrugs. “If you get dressed fast, I’ll treat you to anything you want,” he looks right at Hoseok. Gunhee must mean it, so Hoseok believes him. He grabs his coffee, downing it as he goes to his room. 

Hoseok makes quick work of washing his face and brushing his teeth. It takes effort, but he still manages. Once he’s dressed, he meets Gunhee in the living room. Looking and feeling a bit more human, Hoseok grabs his jacket and heads out with his friend, trying hard to keep his chin up. 

\--

“As much as it pains me to agree with Yoongi,” Kihyun speaks through Shownu’s earpiece. “I think he’s right.” 

Shownu, who is already in the middle of a mission, does not want to deal with Kihyun nagging him. He can even hear Yoongi faintly in the background. His target hasn’t appeared yet, so he feels free enough to respond. 

“A little late for the input here,” Shownu grumbles into his glass, taking a drink to avoid looking like he’s talking to himself. “Hush and be ready, I see our mark.” Sure, he’s not completely healed from everything just yet. But Shownu is a busybody, he doesn’t want to lay around or rest much (not because he’s not with Hoseok, nope, that has nothing to do with it) and he may have jumped back into working too fast. He’ll deal with it. 

Kihyun chirps an affirmative before going radio silent. Shownu is thankful for the brief respite before he sees the man he’s looking for- Park Yongsu. 

Another arms dealer, who is responsible for several shipments of illegal firearms into the country. He runs a shipping business and owns a series of docks in Mukho harbor. While still a thriving place, Mukho is not the main port in the Donghae area anymore. Commercial enough to carry out “business” without questions, but not as easily in direct sight of authorities. Shownu and his team have been working on this case for months, gathering information and every minute detail they came across. Shownu isn’t terribly surprised the man operates out of the area and is even less surprised that the target has his fingers in a lot of pots. 

This target travels around the country to conduct business and keeps a secret headquarters in Seoul. Even if he’s used to traveling for work, deep down Shownu is thankful that he doesn’t have to go outside of Seoul this time. He’s still healing so the less travel he has to endure, the better. 

Shownu is fairly certain Park didn’t give a direct order to be (nearly) killed. But he’s definitely involved and his lackeys were the ones that landed his ass by a dumpster. Despite that little hiccup in their plans, Shownu knows his face is still safe from Park. All the target knows is he lost a few lackeys, but an agent went down with them. No one that’s still alive in this ring knows his face. Not even the rest of the Park crime family. 

For the most part, Shownu isn’t so worried about the others or what they might do. Yongsu isn’t so far up the chain of command that his family would retaliate instantly, but he  _ is  _ far enough to make a dent in their “business”. Even then, Shownu knows his team will wipe the place down before news even spreads.

“You must be Mr. Kim?” Yongsu asks, a coy smile on his face. Shownu mimics the smile with ease, keeping his face unreadable. He always runs the undercover situations, if only because he’s remarkably good at disguising himself. 

“I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Park,” he shakes hands with the man before he sits. Now that he has his target there, it’s all about getting him to agree to a business deal. Then they’ll have the warehouse and Park Yongsu taken down in a matter of minutes. Shownu offers Yongsu drinks, ordering for them both. 

The game is on. 

\--

As tumultuous as his mood currently is, Hoseok isn’t terribly surprised to find himself feeling a bit grumpy again. The promise of food is definitely helping, but he keeps almost slipping back into a bad headspace. 

“Hoseok,” Gunhee gently kicks him under the table. “Stop glaring at the menu.” 

Hoseok pouts. 

“I just don’t know what to order,” he sighs, as if that explains everything. Gunhee shakes his head. 

“I’m not mad at you, okay? Worried about your dumb ass more than anything, and I know you’ll just sink further down if you stay in your apartment,” Gunhee replies. Hoseok has to nod, because it’s true. 

So, he takes in a deep breath and lets it out, ordering and trying to be happier. Gunhee at least offers conversation that distracts him. He nibbles on his food when it arrives and keeps up the conversation. Nothing exciting, mostly Gunhee telling him stories from the emergency room, as Hoseok has no new work stories himself. He doesn’t bring up Shownu, because it doesn’t feel right to. 

“Seok,” Gunhee puts a little more force into his words. Hoseok isn’t listening at that point, distractedly fiddling with his phone. “Hoseok,” Gunhee snaps his fingers that time to get the other man to listen. 

Hoseok jerks his head up, startling out of his daze. He gives Gunhee a questioning look, phone still in his hands. 

“Isn’t that your guy?” Gunhee points somewhere behind Hoseok. 

“Guy?” Hoseok furrows his brows, confusion washing over him. What guy? Hoseok doesn’t have a guy? Gunhee only points again, urging him to turn around slowly. So, Hoseok does. 

And there is a guy there, Hoseok realizes as his breath catches in his throat. He  _ is  _ Hoseok’s guy. Shownu is in the same restaurant, dressed in a black suit with his hair brushed back. Another man is sitting across from, both looking like they’re deep in some kind of negotiations. Hoseok feels his mouth go dry. What in the hell is Shownu doing here, of all places? The one person he thought he would never come across in Seoul again is sitting right there. 

“Fuck,” Hoseok whispers under his breath. 

“That is him, isn’t it?” Gunhee asks. Sure, he only saw Shownu a handful of times, but Gunhee recognized him. Hoseok nods dumbly, mouth hanging open. He still can’t believe he’s seeing Shownu in the flesh again. 

“What do I do?” Hoseok mutters more to himself than Gunhee. But his friend hears nonetheless.

“Go talk to him?” Gunhee offers. Hoseok chokes on air and shakes his head. 

“Absolutely not!” 

“Why?” Gunhee narrows his eyes. “You were still worried about him, weren’t you?” 

“I never said that,” Hoseok points out. Gunhee snorts at him. 

“I didn’t need to hear you say it to figure it out. What’s the worst that can happen? You can just claim mistaken identity if you have to,” Gunhee smiles, trying to encourage Hoseok to carry the plan out. Which, it’s not even really a plan, it’s a bad idea and Hoseok absolutely does not want to do it. “Just go for it!” 

“I hate you so much,” Hoseok says as if Gunhee is the one dragging him from his chair. “You’re treating me to ice cream after this,” he points at his friend, who is only grinning when Hoseok stands up all the way. He takes in a deep breath, tries to calm his nerves, slowly making his way over to where Shownu is sitting. 

The two men are sitting and talking, not noticing Hoseok approaching. There’s plenty of light pouring into the restaurant, given the large window walls surrounding them. It’s definitely Shownu sitting there. Hoseok feels his heart racing as he dares to step a little closer. What if he was interrupting something important? Or what if Shownu gets mad at him for this? 

Before he can question things too much, he’s already spotted. Shownu doesn’t see him first, but the man he’s sitting with does. Hoseok’s entire face burns in embarrassment as the other man assumes he must be part of the waitstaff. 

“Ah, hello,” the man greets, clearly ready to order. Hoseok is choking on air again as he waves his hands. 

“S-Sorry!” he blurts out in a panic. “I’m not, I don’t- uh, well I don’t work here, I j-just,” he motions to Shownu as he stumbles over words. “I thought I recognized-” he points this time. Shownu is turning around in his seat over the commotion, his back having been to Hoseok before. When Shownu’s dark brown eyes finally land on Hoseok, he can’t help but give a nervous giggle, looking a mix of delighted and terrified. 

“A friend of yours?” The man asks Shownu. 

Shownu’s face is unreadable. Hoseok is surprisingly used to that, focusing only on Shownu this time. The other man is nothing he’s worried about. 

“Hi,” Hoseok squeaks out. Shownu blinks, like he’s processing what’s going on. Then, he smiles. Hoseok feels a wave of relief wash over him. 

“What are the odds?” Shownu stands and gives Hoseok a shoulder hug. “Mr. Park, this is an old friend of mine from college,” Shownu introduces. Hoseok waves timidly at the other man. “I haven’t seen him in ages!” Shownu sounds happy, but the story he’s giving is obviously fake. 

It dawns on Hoseok that Shownu is probably working. Whatever that job may be, he just walked right into it. 

“Pleasure to meet you...” Mr. Park smiles. Hoseok doesn’t like how his face looks, but returns the expression and gives his name before Shownu can speak.

“Lee Hoseok,” he says. Shownu’s grip around his shoulder tightens briefly, fingers digging into the meat of his bicep. “I’m really sorry for just intruding like that- like he said, it’s been ages,” Hoseok laughs. “I’ll let you two be,” he bows his head and slips away from Shownu’s grasp. “I hope we can catch up another time!” 

“Me, too,” Shownu nods, patting Hoseok on the back a few times. 

“Do take care, Mr. Lee,” Mr. Park says in a voice that gives Hoseok chills. He thanks them both again, bowing once more for good measure. 

He makes his escape quickly after that, scurrying back to his table with Gunhee. A second later, he’s grabbing his jacket and looking at Gunhee. “We should go,” he whispers harshly.

“What, why?” Gunhee asks. “Did something happen over there?” 

“He’s busy, and I’m embarrassed,” Hoseok hopes Gunhee will listen. “Like, mortified right now. Why did I go over there?” He groans as he runs his hands over his face. 

It takes a few more minutes of badgering and paying for their food before Hoseok drags Gunhee out of the restaurant. He just wants to go back to his apartment and hide in shame, hoping that whatever he just ran into doesn’t come back to bite him. 

\--

Yongsu watches Hoseok’s back as he leaves with another man. It’s easy enough to play off, so he doesn’t alert the potential business partner sitting across from him. No one sees Yongsu tap the screen of his watch, notifying the men he has waiting in the area. He gives them an order to tail a new target that just left the restaurant. Then it’s all back to business, like nothing happened at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could be in store for Hoseok? 👀 feel free to keep yelling with me in the comments! I can't thank you enough for reading! Stay safe! <33


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it really shouldn't shock anyone at this point that I had to make this 5 chapters...because I'm terrible at predicting how long a story is going to be. Hopefully no one really minds? lol Next chapter is for sure the last one in this story, though! Thank you all for reading and being here <3 Stay safe!

As promised, Hoseok gets his ice cream when they leave the restaurant. Gunhee says it’s a consolation prize for still approaching Shownu, even if it hadn’t really meant anything. Hoseok is honestly reeling a bit from even seeing Shownu there, let alone whatever work he was doing. The way the other man at the table had smiled at him still makes his skin crawl. 

In the end, Hoseok spends a better part of the day with Gunhee. He promises to start looking for work again, Gunhee even offering a few ideas. It helps. Hoseok finally retreats back to his apartment, ready to be in his own space again.

Just as he’s settling down for bed, Hoseok spots the phone Shownu had given him. He keeps it charged and has taken up the habit of usually carrying it with him. It would be a lie to say he never considers just texting Shownu. Even if Hoseok isn’t sure that any message would go straight to Shownu or someone else, the temptation is always there. 

It’s a direct line to Shownu. He stares at the phone before he picks it up, fiddles with it while thinking. It would be so easy to simply text. There is no emergency, though, and Hoseok doesn’t want to abuse the gift he’s been given. 

“Is it weird that I miss you?” Hoseok says aloud instead of texting it. He stares at the phone like it might actually answer him. But the screen stays dark, no messages popping up in return, nothing. “Is it weirder if I hope you miss me, too?” he whispers that time. 

Hoseok places the phone back on his nightstand, face down, before he curls up into bed. The lights are out, he is actually exhausted after the day he’s had, and seeing Shownu out in public has left him lonely once again. Sleep weighs down his eyelids and Hoseok drifts into a peaceful slumber. 

\--

He wakes feeling oddly positive, compared to the last few days at least. Hoseok gets himself up, eats breakfast, the usual. Getting out yesterday seems to be helping more than he thought it would. He’s a bit more energetic and smiley, ready to face the day. He’s even planning on asking for an application at the gym. He wants to avoid EMT work for the time being and picks the next best thing. He can be a strength trainer, or someone on standby to help if anyone is injured in the gym. Or even just work at the front desk. 

Hoseok knows not to make this his only option, knows he’ll end up applying to other places, too. But he really hopes that the gym takes him. It would be way easier. 

Once he’s cleaned up and refreshed, Hoseok grabs his gym bag and tosses a few extra things in it. He pauses before leaving the bedroom, glancing at the phone still on his nightstand. Something in his gut says he should bring it with him. He debates with himself for a moment before he grabs the device and tucks it into his bag. 

The gym is quiet. Hoseok asks for an application, feels excited when one of the workers says they’re hiring. He fills it out before going to do his usual exercises. Maybe it’s because he’s happy today, or maybe it’s because he’s hopeful for a future job, but Hoseok works out hard. He’s pouring sweat and every muscle in his body is aching in the best way possible.

After a quick shower in the gym’s locker room, Hoseok heads back out to take care of some other small errands. Buy some food, maybe ask for a few more applications. There’s a new place that’s opening a few blocks away from his apartment. They make healthy smoothies or something like that, which appeals to Hoseok plenty. 

The day is uneventful (at least compared to other days) but successful. Hoseok feels accomplished and markedly better. It’s enough to lift his mood. He makes it back to his apartment, a few applications in hand, fresh groceries, and a plan for what he wants to do next. He spends the next few hours in the living room, filling out forms, snacking on a granola bar, content in everything. 

That night, when he goes to sleep, Hoseok plugs the emergency phone into the charger on his nightstand. He feels compelled to check for messages with it, even if none are ever there. Shownu even told him that it only works one way. Hoseok finds comfort in it, if only because it’s the one thing still connecting him to Shownu. Soon enough, he falls asleep. 

It isn’t until some ungodly hour in the night that Hoseok wakes up again. He’s not sure why he wakes up, groggy and confused. It’s still very much dark outside, so he blearily looks at his alarm clock. Electric blue numbers shine in the darkness. 

3:45 A.M.

Usually a sound sleeper, Hoseok frowns and stretches himself out. He thinks maybe he just needs to use the bathroom, dragging himself from bed and shuffling towards the toilet. 

Hoseok pauses once he’s done washing his hands. He shuts the water off, waits, suddenly feeling like he should be listening for something. Now that he’s a bit more awake, he realizes that something feels...off. Still in the bathroom, Hoseok stands as still as possible. Maybe the late hour is making him paranoid, or maybe the neighbor made a noise loud enough to wake him up. 

But then he hears voices. Hoseok feels his entire body tense up. It feels like the blood in his veins has turned to ice in a split second. The voices are in the kitchen, he thinks. Hoseok lingers in the doorway to his bathroom, clicking the light off to keep the room dark. The first thing Hoseok considers is someone has broken into his apartment to steal whatever they can find. 

He knows how to defend himself, should it come to that. Even in his panic he tries to tell himself that he’s capable of throwing one hell of a punch. The problem there is he doesn’t know if the intruder has any weapons. Or how many of them there might be. 

Gritting his teeth, Hoseok tip toes his way out of the bathroom, thankful that it’s connected directly to his bedroom. If he can just get to the phone, he can get help. He makes it to the phone, miraculously enough, grabbing it off the nightstand and glancing towards his bedroom door. 

The voices are closer now. Like, nearly outside his door, close enough to be absolutely terrifying. Hoseok’s stomach drops and he glances back at the bathroom. Crossing the room will take too much time. He darts into his closet instead, pulling the door closed as softly as possible. Even holds his breath when he hears his bedroom door open.

He listens. Two voices, which means at least two intruders. He waits, hands shaking, clutching the phone to his chest. Does he dare to send a message now? Will the glow of the screen give him away? Hoseok knows his time is limited. The intruders will undoubtedly look in the closet at some point. 

The voices are still talking, mumbling to each other how their mark isn’t in his room. Hoseok has to register what that means for several seconds. They weren’t just intruders there to rob him. They were after  _ him.  _

Still holding his breath, Hoseok unlocks the phone and taps the call button. There’s only one number saved. Hoseok taps it and the call connects after a brief silence. He hears ringing on the other side and panics, realizing that it might be just loud enough in the quiet space to be heard. 

The voices pause. A set of footsteps comes closer to the closet. The door swings out from Hoseok, he knows it does, and his panicked mind comes up with a last second plan. He pulls in a few deep breaths, heart pounding, hands shaking, cold sweat on his brow. 

The door starts to creak when someone goes to pull it open. 

Hoseok pulls one leg back before kicking forward as hard as he can, splintering the flimsy wood. The door goes flying into the intruder, slamming against the man and sending him backwards. Hoseok takes the minor distraction and bolts from the room.

Yells erupt from his room behind him as he runs from the apartment altogether. He has no shoes, still only in sweatpants and a tee-shirt. Hoseok clings to the phone as he runs to the stairs. He practically trips over himself, going down two stairs at a time. 

The door to the stairwell slams open again a few seconds later. Hoseok hears it bang against the wall and the voices are shouting after him. They’re gaining on him and Hoseok wills himself to run even faster. 

Somehow, he makes it outside. The pavement is wet under his bare feet. Apparently, it had rained at some point. He glances back and forth, trying to determine which way was best to go. That’s when he spots a dark van parked across the street. Two more men climb out and look right at Hoseok. 

_ Fuck.  _

He takes off again down, dipping into an alleyway. He hears a voice and registers it’s coming from the phone. 

_ “Hoseok? Hoseok, are you there?”  _

Hoseok could cry hearing Shownu’s voice. 

“I’m being chased!” he blurts into the phone. “The-they were-” he pants between words. “In my apartment!” He comes out the other side of the street, chest heaving. “I’m outside!” he spits what few details he can get out. 

_ “Keep the phone on. I’m coming.”  _

Hoseok takes that as good news and takes off again. Hoseok carefully tucks the phone into his pocket and hopes it stays put. Maybe if he keeps moving long enough, Shownu will get to him before the other guys do. He makes it into a side street, but it’s a dead end. 

Wishful thinking, Hoseok thinks miserably to himself. 

Before he can figure out another way to go, four men have appeared behind him. They finally catch up, one still holding his nose. Hoseok assumes that’s the one he hit with the door. Another man approaches him quickly, roughly the same size as Hoseok. 

“Just give up now,” he warns. From what he can see, the guy isn’t holding any weapons. Hoseok takes a deep breath and relies on what self defense skills he has. He puts his hands up like he’s going to surrender. 

When the man is close enough, Hoseok strikes quickly. He cups his hands and slams them against the man’s ears, effectively taking hold of his head. In a flash he jams his thumbs into the man’s eyes, grips his head harder and pulls down as he brings his knee up. He drives his knee into the man’s face, hearing a crunch of breaking bone. 

Another man rushes him and Hoseok jumps back to avoid a hit. He spins and almost slips, but gathers himself just in time. Using the attacker’s momentum, Hoseok turns, grabs the man’s arm, and throws him over his shoulder and onto the pavement. 

Hoseok is ready to go again when a shot rings out. It almost deafens him, but the pain exploding in his leg takes over quickly. He shouts and loses his balance, one leg giving out. It grazed his thigh, but it burns like hell and blood is already starting to soak through his sweatpants. 

He grips his leg and grits his teeth, desperately trying to get up again. One quick glance says the wound is probably deep enough to need stitches. The other two men are on him in a flash, knocking him to the ground and yelling. He can’t really make out what they’re saying, dazed and in pain all of a sudden. 

They don’t take the phone from his pocket. They either don’t know about it, or don’t care. But they do bind his arms behind his back, dragging him to his feet and back towards the apartment complex. Hoseok stumbles several times, tries to break free. It’s futile, though. His leg is throbbing as he finds himself thrown into the back of a van. 

When he kicks his legs out, one of the men digs his thumb into the wound on Hoseok’s leg. He screams and bucks, trying to get it to stop. They bind his ankles together, before throwing a bag over his head. He can’t see, can’t move, and he  _ hurts.  _ The phone is digging into his leg just below his hip, so he clings to that one little piece of hope. 

\--

The van stops eventually. Hoseok startles when he suddenly feels hands on him again, dragging him into an upright position. The bag is kept over his face and he feels the binding on his ankles release. His left leg feels numb to a degree, his sweatpants damp and sticking to his skin with blood. He’s dizzy and disoriented. 

That doesn’t stop whoever is grabbing him from shoving Hoseok out of the van. He hits the pavement with a groan before he’s forced up again, staggering in whatever direction he’s pushed. Eventually, he’s forced to sit down in what he assumes is a metal fold-out chair. Which is good, because his leg feels like it’s going to give out any second. 

“He’s heavy as fuck,” one man grumbles to another. They agree and snort, laughing at something Hoseok can’t quite make out. Hoseok shifts in the chair, arms still behind his back. He makes a failed attempt at standing up only to be roughly shoved back down. He grunts, shakes his head and breathes hard through his nose. 

The bag is suddenly ripped off his head. Hoseok quickly closes his eyes against the glaring fluorescent lights. He blinks back tears, eyes burning from being in such a bright room. The walls and floors are gray, the men that grabbed him are in the room but not right next to him anymore.

A new figure appears a few short minutes later. Hoseok blinks as he approaches. Then he recognizes the face as the man that was sitting with Shownu. The panic spikes in Hoseok’s chest as it dawns on him how this all happened. It’s all clicking into place, even if it is too late to matter. 

“Good to see you again,” the man speaks. Hoseok sees his smile, the same one that had weirded him out at the restaurant. Now he knows why it was so creepy. “My name is Yongsu. Hoseok, was it? I just have a few questions for you.” 

“What-” Hoseok sputters. 

“Let me finish,” Yongsu cuts him off before he can continue. “Tell me how you know Mr. Kim?” 

Hoseok blinks. Mr. Kim? Who the hell is that? He isn’t sure if he’s delirious from blood loss or shock, but either way, he stares dumbly at this man now holding him captive. 

“I...I don’t know Mr. Kim?” he phrases it like a question. He doesn’t, not that he can recall. “Kim who?”

The slap he receives echoes in the room. Hoseok’s head jerks to the side from the force of it, feeling like his brain is rolling around in his skull. 

“I’m not here to play games. No one was supposed to know we were meeting yesterday. Tell me how you fucking know him! You his accomplice? Business partner? What kind of setup is he running?” Each question made the man’s voice rise in anger, his face turning red. 

Hoseok doesn’t understand, he really doesn’t. He’s given enough context to figure out that the guy is talking about Shownu. Mr. Kim must be an alias or something. Come to think of it, Hoseok grimaces, he didn’t even know Shownu’s real name until he left. This all has to do with Shownu’s work and now Hoseok was finding himself caught in the middle. Because he just had to approach Shownu in the restaurant. 

“I don’t know him!” Hoseok dares to shout back. He’s not giving Shownu up that easily. 

“Bullshit!” Yongsu slaps him again on the other cheek. Now both sides of his face are burning. His eyes water from the sting, but he keeps his composure. The sneering man is suddenly in his face, one hand grabbing a fistful of Hoseok’s hair and yanking his head back. The other grabs his wounded leg, pressing down on it. 

Hoseok squirms, kicking his good leg out uselessly, bites his own tongue to try and keep himself quiet. It doesn’t work. The man digs into the wound and Hoseok screams. It  _ hurts _ . It hurts so much that he feels nauseous and faint. He wants it to stop, he  _ needs  _ it to stop. With what he has left, Hoseok swings his good leg up just enough, catching the asshole right in the dick. 

And he must hit with some force, because Yongsu instantly releases his hold and drops to his knees. There’s swears and shouts as the others come to pull their boss up and usher him out of the room. They leave the room with a door slamming behind them. 

Hoseok is left in silence for a few moments, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. Only because he’s alone does he allow himself a brief moment of panic and fear. He’s scared, he really is. He tips his head forward, trying to pull in even breaths to stay calm. Tears drip off the tip of his nose. 

_ “Please hurry, _ ” he whispers to himself, hoping Shownu can somehow still hear him. 

\--

Shownu can’t quite recall a time he has ever moved as fast as he is now. Maybe when trying to escape deadly situations, but this is different. Someone else’s life was on the line because of him. Someone that he had promised to protect and was already failing at that.

“Drive faster,” Shownu commands. Kihyun grimaces from the front seat, glancing at Yoongi, who does not seem interested in listening to the command. He should have known Yongsu was going to try something. He should have  _ known _ . Hoseok had approached, gave his name before Shownu could stop him, and now he’s being held by the bastard Shownu has been working to take down for months. 

“Keep your eyes on the tracker,” Yoongi responds. Shownu grits his teeth. He has a good idea of Yongsu’s hideouts and how they’re set up. Hoseok’s phone has been holding at a single position for a few minutes now. It’s enough to tell them where to go. Same area Shownu had tried to infiltrate when Hoseok found him. 

Shownu, despite his clear anger and rage simmering under the surface, keeps perfectly still. That’s one of the scarier aspects about him. He’s good at keeping his face and movements under control, good at keeping everything hard to read. A lot of the time, it appears as if he doesn’t have a single thought in his head- sometimes that’s even true. He’s just also learned how to use that to his advantage. 

“We’ll get him in time,” Kihyun says to him. Shownu keeps his eyes on the screen in his lap, unmoving and silent. 

They better get to him on time. And Hoseok better be unharmed, because Shownu is feeling less than forgiving towards anyone that hurts him.

Really, Shownu knows they should also be going into this place with more than three people. But Hoseok’s call had come in late, unexpected and urgent. Shownu didn’t waste time trying to gather anyone else that might be free to help out. This is his team’s target, after all. They’ll handle it as best they can. The main goal for now is getting Hoseok out safely and if a few people end up with bullets in their skulls, then Shownu is just fine with that. 

“This is all the closer we get. On foot the rest of the way,” Shownu says as Yoongi pulls into an empty parking lot. “Yoongi, you’re on point for Kihyun and monitoring surveillance. Kihyun, find the highest vantage point and be ready. Keep your comms on.” 

“Got it,” Yoongi and Kihyun answer at the same time. They don’t question him on the lack of codenames, because they’re still in their own vehicle. 

“And you?” Kihyun asks, raises a brow at Shownu dubiously. His friend probably knows exactly what Shownu is going to do. Not exactly protocol and very much stupidly brave. 

“I’m heading straight for Hoseok,” he answers without missing a beat. Kihyun heaves a sigh. “I’m not lingering. Getting him out is the top priority.” 

“I know,” Kihyun nods. “Just be careful, yeah?” he slips from his seat then, looping around to the back to lift a few bags out. Shownu follows suit, grabbing a few of his own weapons of choice. Kihyun slings the sniper rifle case over his back and nods once to Shownu. Then he’s off, slipping into the shadows. 

  
  


\--

Hoseok sniffles miserably to himself. He’s stopped crying for now, but his leg still aches. He feels nausea twisting in his stomach. What if the guy comes back before Shownu finds him? What if Shownu  _ doesn’t  _ find him? It’s enough to make him feel sick, near hopeless. On top of it all, he feels so, so  _ tired.  _ He refuses to give into the urge to close his eyes, even for a moment. 

No one has come back into the room. He can’t hear anything outside of his own breathing. Time passes, but Hoseok has no way of knowing how much. There’s no clocks he can see, nothing but the lights overhead and the chair he’s stuck to.

His mind briefly thinks of Gunhee. Of his other friends out there and his mother and how she’s going to worry if he doesn’t contact her again. She’ll cry, he thinks, cry and fear for her son. He wonders if he does end up dead, will his body ever be found? And that’s not really a thought Hoseok has ever wanted to cross his mind. 

It almost makes him hyperventilate. He breathes harder, feels like he might throw up. As futile as it might be, he still tries to loosen the ties on his wrists. He pulls and twists, a brief but ultimately useless struggle, and then he’s left breathing hard and in tears again. Gritting his teeth, Hoseok tips his head back, straining as he holds in a scream. 

Hoseok snaps his head up when he hears something behind him. There’s the faintest footsteps, a door opening. His panic spikes as a whimper escapes him. Whoever has come into the room is moving faster now, right to his side as he struggles once again to get away. 

Someone shushes him softly, though Hoseok doesn’t see who it is just yet. 

“I don’t know-” he strains harder. “A-Anything!” Hoseok raises his voice, closes his eyes as he braces for something to happen. More pain, another hit, anything. He isn’t sure. 

“Hoseok,” the voice whispers and shushes him again. “It’s okay-” 

All at once Hoseok is quickly looking to his right, finding none other than Shownu there, crouched and holding a knife. He looks worried, Hoseok thinks briefly. It doesn’t feel real. He opens his mouth to speak again, but Shownu holds up one finger to his lips. 

“Shh,” he whispers. “Hang tight,” he moves behind Hoseok and starts to cut the zip ties binding his wrists. 

Of course, that’s when everything goes to shit. A door at the opposite end of the room comes open, men streaming back into the room. When he glances to his side, Shownu is suddenly gone. It’s fast enough Hoseok even wonders if he was actually there. 

“What’s all the shouting about, huh?” one man asks as he approaches Hoseok. He recognizes him as the one behind all this- Yongsu. Another man stays by the window and one by the door they came out of. Hoseok can only see part of the one by the door, the rest of the man half hidden by a staircase. “You think that’s going to get you out of here?” 

Hoseok stares. Talking is useless, he’s well aware of that. It doesn’t help that Yongsu is holding a gun now. 

“Nothing now?” Yongsu looks strange. Like he’s out of breath and sweatier than Hoseok remembers him being before. Yongsu catches Hoseok staring at the gun in his hand. “Scared?” he laughs, holding it up and waving the gun in Hoseok’s face. “That was a fucking stupid trick you pulled, you know. I don’t appreciate anyone trying to fuck with me.” 

There’s no time to even think of something to say. Yongsu starts to pace in a circle around Hoseok, until Hoseok can’t see him anymore. Something presses into the back of his head, hard and cold. He knows what it is and his blood runs cold. 

Something shatters across the room. A pane of the window goes out, shards of glass sparkling in the light. The man at the window drops, blood starting to pool around his head. The other man by the door shouts and moves. Even Yongsu pulls back.

“What the fuck was that!?” he shouts. He steps around from Hoseok as the other man starts to rush over.

Shownu pounces at that point. Hoseok catches a blur of movement to his side. Shownu dives at Yongsu, tackling him to the ground. The other man is close enough to see them now, shouting something as he draws a weapon of his own. Shownu, while pinning Yongsu to the ground, throws what Hoseok assumes is a knife with deadly accuracy. 

Hoseok sees the blade bury itself in the man’s chest before he falls back to the ground, gagging and gasping for air. Yongsu struggles under Shownu, face down and Shownu’s knee pressing into his back. Yongsu is spitting obscenities and screaming at Shownu. Hoseok watches as Shownu rips the gun from Yongsu’s hand, cocking it as he goes. 

Is he really seeing all of this? Hoseok breathes harder and closes his eyes, wishing the moment was over. When he finally hears a shot, his ears ring and drown everything else out. 

\--

“You think we won’t come after you?” Yongsu is laughing under him. Shownu only feels annoyed. “Who put you up to it, huh?” he’s stalling for time. Shownu isn’t phased by much when it comes to work. Yoongi and Kihyun are no doubt making quick work of anyone else that turns up. He already has to thank Kihyun for the damn good shot by the window. Instead, he clicks the hammer back and presses the barrel of the gun to Yongsu’s head.

“You can thank your nephew,” Shownu says simply, letting the words register in Yongsu’s mind. Just as the man is about to start struggling again, sputtering for more words, Shownu pulls the trigger. He gets up slowly, tossing the gun to the side, takes the time to readjust his black leather gloves. 

“Park is dead. Send for the clean up crew,” Shownu reports quickly, once he scans the room and sees no one else. Even if things technically ended well enough, this isn’t how Shownu wanted it to go. But it was done, and he had to think of getting Hoseok out now. Now he has the time to really take in the damage as he turns back to Hoseok. 

His heart instantly sinks. 

“Hoseok,” he breathes out and crosses the distance in a few long strides. Their time is limited, but Shownu still takes a moment to check the man over for injuries. “Any injuries besides your leg?” he asks. He’s still in work mode, which only dawns on him when Hoseok stares at him with wide, terrified eyes. Shownu schools his expression and eases into a gentle smile. “Talk to me, Hoseok. I have to get you out of here quickly.” 

“Just my leg,” Hoseok’s voice trembles. Shownu’s blood boils just thinking about anyone daring to hurt Hoseok. The only comfort is that those that hurt him are no longer a problem. “You...you killed-” Hoseok’s voice catches. 

“I did,” Shownu nods. He flips a switchblade out of his pocket, moving to cut the bindings around Hoseok’s wrists. Once he’s cut free, Shownu moves in front of him again. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I’ll explain everything once you’re out of here,” he offers another smile, because that’s all he can do. He hates how useless he feels in providing any comfort to Hoseok. He’s never had to do this before, not like this. 

Hoseok, who must have a million things going through his mind because Shownu can’t quite read his expression. Even if they haven’t known each other that long, every other time Shownu can usually figure out what Hoseok is feeling. Right now, it’s somewhere between fear and confusion and something Shownu isn’t sure of yet. Hoseok’s eyes start jumping around the room, around the bodies that are still on the floor. 

“Hoseok?” Shownu touches the other man’s shoulder, feather light and worried. “Look at me,” he speaks as warmly as possible. He keeps his hand there until Hoseok finally meets his eyes. His shoulders are shaking. “I’m getting you out of here, okay?”

Seconds are ticking by. Shownu doesn’t rush Hoseok, even if he should be doing that. Hoseok draws in a shaky breath and swallows. 

“I trust you,” he whispers. It feels like the wind is knocked out of him and his heart is soaring at the same time. Shownu smiles and nods. After a quick message to Kihyun that he has Hoseok now, he turns around so his back is to Hoseok, crouched in front of him. 

“Hop on,” He instructs. When he doesn’t hear or feel anything, he looks over his shoulder to see Hoseok worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He waits and sees the hesitation, likely because of the wound to Hoseok’s leg making it hard for him to move. Shownu scoots back, just a bit closer to Hoseok. 

With only a little struggle, Shownu gets the other onto his back and lifts Hoseok up. Even with his best efforts to be mindful of Hoseok’s injury, Shownu winces in sympathy when Hoseok whimpers into his shoulder. Shownu moves then, walking at a fast pace but careful not to jostle Hoseok around. The grounds are still quiet. Shownu feels anxious to get back to Kihyun and Yoongi- to get away from the area and to safety. To keep Hoseok safe. 

“Almost there,” Shownu speaks to Hoseok, even as the man buries his face into Shownu’s shoulder. Hoseok clings to him as tightly as he can, hardly makes a sound outside of the occasional whimper. Shownu wants to hold him tighter, keep him safe forever. “I’ve got you.” 

\--

Hoseok isn’t sure he remembers ever being this scared. And that was a lot, considering how his life has been the past few months. Between finding Shownu and Kihyun holding him at gunpoint- this has been the worst. Worse than any call he had ever been on as an EMT. 

His leg is throbbing still and his head feels like it is stuffed full of cotton. All he can do now is keep his face buried against Shownu’s broad shoulder, eyes squeezed shut. He thinks he should stay awake as much as he can, stay alert, but he doesn’t want to see the men lying dead on the floor.

Shownu’s voice is low and soothing each time he whispers a soft reassurance to him. Hoseok can feel the way it rumbles in his chest through his back. It eases some of the worry in him, makes him feel safe. Hoseok knows he’s in this mess because he knows Shownu. And still, he doesn’t hold a single thing against the man for it. 

Maybe he’s too trusting. Maybe he should be upset or angry or any number of things. But Hoseok has always been one to act on a whim, follow his gut, and go with what he’s given. He’s been burned in the past for it, sure. Hoseok can’t bring himself to regret his choices in meeting Shownu, though. Not one bit. 

Wherever Shownu is taking him (he doesn’t care, it’s away from  _ here _ ) isn’t too far. He lifts his head from Shownu’s shoulder when he feels the other man stop moving. It’s lighter outside now, the sun starting to rise higher in the sky. 

“I have to put you down now, okay?” Shownu asks. Hoseok manages to nod, reluctantly releasing his hold on the other. With careful maneuvering, Hoseok is standing unsteadily on his good leg, held up by Shownu. 

Hoseok isn’t sure where Kihyun came from, but he appears to help move Hoseok into their van. He doesn’t say much but Hoseok doesn’t mind. He’s seated soon enough and laying back at Kihyun’s insistence. 

“We’ll get you patched up,” Kihyun smiles at him. Hoseok gives him a weak smile in return. “I have some basic first aid here, I can do that to hold him over,” Kihyun says to Shownu, who nods as he climbs into the van as well. Kihyun works carefully but diligently to bandage Hoseok’s thigh, enough so that he’ll be okay until they can get him medical help. 

Hoseok isn’t expecting Shownu to be sitting with him. And he’s definitely not expecting it when Shownu puts Hoseok’s head in his lap. He blinks up at the man that just saved him- the one he had saved months ago. Shownu rests one hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, the other carding fingers through his hair. 

“Get some rest,” Shownu speaks softly, just for Hoseok to hear. “We’re taking you to our base, but you’ll be safe.”

Somehow, that’s enough for Hoseok. His brain is feeling like mush inside his skull, everything getting slowly darker around the edges. He’s exhausted. Trusting that he is safe, trusting Shownu, is all he needs at this moment. Hoseok closes his eyes, relaxes as much as he can and breathes out: 

“Thank you, Hyunwoo.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm...I wonder who Mr. Park's nephew is? Or if he'll show up in the main story? Who knows! (Me. I knows.) Thank you again for reading and checking this out! I appreciate you all so much, every last one of you makes my day that much brighter. I hope I can keep providing content you enjoy! Love, Nips <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Like I said, this was already written out several months ago, I'm just cleaning up what I had between TITD updates. And I'm Showho trash so I had to give them some more love (especially after Wonho wore the jacket Shownu gifted to him on his youtube live), UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I'm not crying you are
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Feel free to come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bigtiddynunu) and yell with me about kpop boys. Stay safe everyone!


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